


Beca's Journey to Caleb and Love

by 22_Ti



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Friendship, F/F, F/M, FTM, GLBTQ, Trans Character, Trans!Beca - Freeform, Transgender, argument, bechloe endgame, ghosting, pride month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:53:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24687940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/22_Ti/pseuds/22_Ti
Summary: After Beca and Chloe get into a raging argument at the Bella house, Beca disappears from Barden, ghosting all her friends without warning. The next time we catch up with the tiny brunette singer, we discover a truth that only Beca herself has found after moving to Los Angeles and chasing her dreams. Follow a tale of self-discovery to find out if long lost college love is rediscovered and can overcome challenges. Rated M for the subject matter and maybe a tiny bit of smut!
Relationships: Chloe Beale & Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale/Original Character(s), bechloe endgame - Relationship
Comments: 101
Kudos: 144





	1. Friendship to Falter

**Author's Note:**

> During the first week of June, an anonymous review came in on one of my stories with a prompt that led to this story honoring our transgender population during Pride Month. Please accept my apologies up front if I misrepresent any part of the community or process.

Beca smiled at Chloe as she flitted around the Bella house common area. Her heart warmed as she watched the comforting routine her best friend had established after the first few months of the Bellas moving into their college residence. “What?” Chloe stopped rearranging the dishes in the cabinet. She looked over her shoulder at the petite brunette, who had sprawled herself out on the couch. When Beca just shrugged with a grin, Chloe stopped what she was doing and went into the living room. “Seriously, Beca. What?” She plopped down next to her friend.

Knowing what was probably coming next, Beca tensed up as she ducked her head and replied, “nothing, Chlo.” Of course, true to her nature, Chloe struck - tickling Beca for all she was worth. The redhead’s lightning-quick fingers found all the spots she knew where Beca was sensitive. “Okay, okay. I give,” Beca breathed heavily from squirming and laughing. “I just like watching you is all. It’s comforting.” Chloe let herself be pulled down next to Beca as the brunette pinned her arms to protect from new tickles.

Chloe snuggled into Beca’s chest. “Was that so hard? You could have just said that in the first place.”

“Yeah? Then you wouldn’t be over here, now would you?” She squeezed her best friend’s shoulders. “Maybe I wanted to be tickled!” Despite being a loner most of her life, Chloe always made Beca feel like she was home.

Chloe reached up and kissed Beca’s lower jaw. “Let me up, weirdo.” She tried to wriggle free. “I need to finish putting up the dishes before Amy comes home and wrecks the kitchen again.”

Beca swatted Chloe in the butt as she let her up. “I don’t know why you bother.” Regardless, Beca followed Chloe back into the kitchen and helped with the chores. Keeping order among the Bella chaos was an exercise in futility.

* * *

Beca was snuggled warmly into her bed, sleeping hard when she felt a cool body slipping beneath the covers next to her. “Mmm, Chlo?” She jerked wide awake as a pair of ice-cold feet pressed against her warm leg. “Fuck, Chloe. Your feet are like icicles.” Chloe crawling into her bed was not a surprise to Beca. The redhead often sought comfort in Beca’s bed – maybe after a nightmare or a shitty date or just because. Beca was definitely her comfort blanket.

The next morning, Beca woke up as Chloe flipped over in restless sleep. The brunette wrapped her arms around her friend and held her until she calmed. She remembered Chloe had gone on a date the night before with a new guy (or was it an old one. Beca couldn’t keep up). Regardless, the evening must have been a bust because here Chloe was. In her bed. When she felt Chloe finally relax into a deep sleep, Beca couldn’t go back to sleep. She eased out of bed to start her morning.

The further the Bellas’ captain climbed down the staircase from the attic room she shared with Fat Amy, the louder the noise grew from below. When she rounded the final landing, she came across what could only be called a food fight with the Bellas on breakfast duty that morning. More appropriately, a flour fest was in full swing.

“HEY,” Beca bellowed, effectively stopping Stacie with her arm cocked back, a fist full of pancake mix.

Her tall friend grinned at her captain sheepishly before innocently asking, “blueberry or chocolate chip?”

Jessica and Ashley quickly turned their back to the stairs so Beca couldn’t see their faces. The captain cleared her throat so the other two Bellas would turn around. Beneath the dry pancake mix stuck to their faces, both girls’ mouths were stained blue, and their cheeks were puffed out, mouths obviously filled with blueberries. Beca rolled her eyes at their antics and carefully made her way through the mess to get to the coffee pot.

“Bow chica bow bow,” another voice bellowed as Fat Amy came walking in the front door. “The savior is here with syrup! Now, where are my pancakes?” She looked at Beca and smirked. “So. How was it? I saw you all curled up with your gal this morning.” Amy made crude thrusting motions with her hips and crashed her hands together, mimicking two bodies writhing against each other.

“You know we are just friends, right?” Beca blew on her coffee before taking a sip.

Amy then got serious. “I don’t know why you always let Chloe come running to you, Beca.” Amy motioned up the stairs. “You say you are friends, but she doesn’t respect you. It’s obvious you are into her. You love her. Everyone sees it but you. Yet every time she goes out on a date that doesn’t go her way, she crawls into bed with you for comfort. That’s messed up, Cap.” Jessica and Ashley quickly slinked out of the kitchen while Stacie busied herself finishing breakfast to avoid getting involved in the conversation.

Amy was on a roll, and for once, she was kind of making sense. “Do you know who she was with last night?” Beca was stunned and just stared at Amy, not sure what to say. “Remember Tom? From our freshmen year? The abusive prick? Yeah. She was out with him last night. I saw them arguing something fierce outside the coffee shop. Again. Beca, **wake up**. She knows you will always be there to pick up the pieces. If you don’t do something soon, there won’t be any pieces to pick up.” Amy made an explosion motion with her hands and sound with her mouth. “She’s going to explode.”

A flabbergasted Beca rushed back up the stairs, afraid to let the other Bellas see her emotions. She felt all their eyes on her as she ran away but couldn’t stop to consider what they may be thinking. As she flew around the corner to the second floor, she saw Chloe had gotten up and was getting dressed in her room. Beca stood silently at the door and watched as the redhead slipped out of her pajama shirt. When she saw Chloe’s arm, she gave out an involuntary gasp. Chloe spun around and looked at Beca in horror. She quickly pulled on her hoodie before asking Beca why she was being a creeper watching her dress.

“Seriously? You crawl into my bed in the middle of the night and then call **ME** a creeper?” Beca scoffed. “Where were you last night?”

“None of your business, Beca.”

“It becomes my business when you go out on failed date after failed date and always end up in my bed.” She walked up to Chloe and tugged on her hoodie. “Take it off. Now!”

Chloe pulled away. “No!”

“I said take it off,” Beca spat.

Tears began to roll down Chloe’s face as she took one arm out is the hoodie. She knew what Beca had seen. “There, are you happy?”

Beca tenderly held Chloe’s upper arm and examined the bruising. “ Did Tom do this?” She was asking through gritted teeth.

Chloe jerked her arm away and pulled her hoodie back on. “It’s none of your business, Beca.”

“Chloe. You are my best friend. He hurt you. That makes it my business. Why were you out with him anyway? You know he’s a creep and abusive.”

“He’s changed, Becs.” Chloe had backed away from Beca and stood with her arms crossed.

Beca motioned to Chloe’s arm. “Apparently, not much,” she laughed sarcastically.

“Fuck off, Beca.”

“Whoa.” Beca held her hands up defensively. “Chloe, I’m on your side here. I can only support you so much, though.” She placed her hand on Chloe's shoulder.

Chloe shrugged off Beca’s touch. “I said **fuck off** , Beca. I don’t need you. Since it’s so much of an issue for you, I won’t ask for your comfort again. And I certainly won’t crawl into your bed. Leave me the hell alone.” With that, Chloe pushed past Beca and left the house.

And Beca’s heart shattered into a million pieces.

* * *

The next week was uncomfortable in the Bella house. Beca wasn’t around the house and didn’t show up to any of the rehearsals. She left Stacie a USB of various mash-ups the team could use for their upcoming competitions. But the captain was nowhere to be found. Even when Chloe broke down and went to apologize, she couldn’t get in touch with Beca. Her texts went unanswered, and calls went straight to voicemail.

After several days of absence, Chloe ventured up to Beca’s attic room. Beca’s mixing set-up was gone, but her clothes, her school books, everything else remained. Chloe stood, looking over Beca’s desk. She admired the many picture strips she and Beca had taken in those booths on the boardwalk. She pulled one which was tucked behind the others and gave a gentle smile. She was kissing Beca’s cheek, and the brunette was acting like she was shocked that the redhead would do such a thing. Carefully placed around the floating shelves were little trinkets. Beca always rolled her eyes when Chloe gifted her with one of the silly toys, yet here they were, proudly displayed.

Chloe picked up another picture, this one framed, smiling as she remembered the bonding weekend they had spent at the Lodge at Fallen Leaves. The photo was of the entire team, covered head to toe in mud after doing a low military crawl through the muck. She traced Beca’s smile, remembering the weekend. Chloe realized at that moment exactly how much she missed Beca. Since her best friend’s things were there, Chloe presumed Beca had just taken a break to cool off a bit. Soon her best friend would be back, and she could give Beca a proper apology for the way she had treated her.

The redhead wandered over to the clothes rack and began to slide clothes back on the rod, looking for one of Beca’s flannels. She wanted a piece of Beca to curl up with at night until her friend came home, and Chloe could make it up to her. As she shifted the clothes back and forth on the rod, Chloe couldn’t find any flannels. She went to the small dresser and began to rummage around. After a while, Chloe realized that not all of Beca’s clothes were in the room – also gone were her t-shirts and tanks. But she’d left enough to ensure Chloe she’d be back – her favorite dresses, her make-up, and some of the skimpiest lingerie that Stacie had once bought Beca as a joke.

Conflicted yet hopeful, Chloe tucked one of the pictures into her pocket and left Beca’s room to wait for her to come home.

* * *

Beca didn’t return that semester. Nor any semester. Nobody would admit to hearing from her. It was if Beca had dropped off the face of the Earth. Chloe went through many stages as she processed Beca’s disappearance. At first, she refused to accept Beca was gone. It was a daily expectation that Beca would walk through the doors of rehearsal. Then she became angry - angry at Beca for leaving and at herself for pushing her away.

Then Chloe slipped into the bargaining stage, promising herself and all the Bellas that she would make everything up to Beca if only her best friend would return. When Beca still didn’t come back, she slipped into a deep depression. It took all the Bellas and Aubrey to pull her from the abyss of her pit to bring her to where she could finally accept that Beca was gone and not coming back.

Through the entire grief process, Chloe learned a lot about herself and her feelings. Beca hadn’t been just her best friend; Chloe had also been in love with her.


	2. Meeting Caleb

**_Flash forward two years_ **

Saturday mornings meant being lazy for Stacie Conrad. She had graduated from college the previous year and was able to land an excellent research job that kept her in the Atlanta area. This bright morning found Stacie sitting on her front porch, catching up on the weekly news with a huge mug of coffee, a scone, and her iPad. She heard the tone of an incoming email and opened up her mail app. Not recognizing the email address, her finger hovered over the junk mail button to send the offending message to never-never land. But something in her gut caused her to pause. She then opened the email.

_To: stacie.conrade@gmail.com  
From: caleb.mitchell@gmail.com_

_Stacie,_

_Hey. Thanks for opening an email from a strange address. I hope you keep reading after you find out who I am. Or who I used to be._

_You know me as Beca._

Stacie froze, not reading further, her heart pounding out of her chest. _Could this really be Beca, her old friend from Barden?_ She kept reading.

_I have no reason to believe you want anything to do with me after the way I abandoned the Bellas so long ago. But out of everyone, I trust you the most._

_I’d like to talk to you. To explain. By phone, of course. If you are interested, I think my explanation might be better that way. If you chose not to, that’s okay, too. All I ask is that if you are still in touch with the girls, please don’t tell anyone I contacted you. I promise it will all make sense._

_310-555-2012_

_Hope to hear from you._

_Love._

* * *

Stacie sat and read through the email multiple times, trying to process what her friend had said. She then tried to figure out why Beca was using some weird-ass email address. There was no question she was going to reach out to her former captain; she just had to get a grip on her emotions first.

After a few hours had passed, Stacie felt she had processed the information as much as she could without knowing more and was ready to take the next step. So she texted.

_From Stacie: Hey, Stacie here._

The response was immediate.

_From Beca: Hey. I’m happy you read my email. I’m even happier you texted  
_ _From Stacie: Where the hell have you been? Where are you?  
_ _From Beca: Los Angeles - to both your questions  
_ _From Beca: How much do you hate me?  
_ _From Stacie: I think I’ve missed you too much to be furious with you. But I don’t hate you. Are you okay?  
_ _From Beca: Yeah. Mostly  
_ _From Stacie: Well, hell, can I call? Texting to catch up for two years will be a bitch  
_ _From Beca: Sure_

Stacie initiated a FaceTime call, which Beca immediately rejected and returned with a voice call. “Sorry, Legs.” Beca sounded nervous as heck. “I look like shit this morning. I don’t want to make a bad impression after two years, you know.”

“Whatever.” Stacie caught herself rolling her eyes at the awkward tiny friend she’d missed like hell. “Okay, spill.”

Stacie could hear Beca let out a long breath as she gathered her wits to start her tale. “Ugh, Stacie. I don’t even know where to start. I just don’t know.”

“How about starting with why you disappeared? You abandoned all of us, Beca. Without cause or warning.” Stacie was frustrated but continued to give her former friend the benefit of the doubt.

“Saying my leaving without cause isn’t fair, Stacie. I’m sure you remember it started the morning that Amy gave me the ‘come to Jesus’ talk about how Chloe was using me for comfort, particularly after failed dates. What Amy said struck home.” That morning had firmly etched itself into Beca’s memory. “Then, when I went upstairs, Chloe and I got into a huge argument. She’d been out with Tom. Again. And he’d left bruises on her arm. Again.”

“She was angry at me for being worried. I tried to explain my concern. She told me to fuck off. Repeatedly. And then she pretty much told me I was no longer her concern, and she’d leave me alone. Yeah, Amy was right. I was in love with Chloe. And to hear her venom directed at me shattered my heart.”

“I have never really felt like I fit in anywhere,” Beca continued. “Something always felt… off. With the Bellas, I had finally found some happiness. I thought I’d found a place I belonged – with the Bellas. I even had a safe place, a safe person. Chloe. Then that blew up. My mind was spinning, Stacie. I knew I had to get out of the house a while to try to clear my mind, reevaluate if I truly fit with the Bellas. After staying a few days at my dad’s, I knew I had to do more than just take a break. I needed to go on a journey. So I snuck back in while you guys were at practice to get my mixing equipment and to shove a few clothes in a bag. And I left.”

“I left because Chloe’s words hurt me and how she treated me. I stayed gone because of me. I needed to take a different path in life. Discover who I really am. You know?” Beca realized she’d been talking non-stop, a hundred miles an hour. She stopped to give Stacie a chance to speak and waited for her friend to say something. “Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. But Beca, we were all worried about you. Okay, to be fair and leaving the others out of this, **I** was worried about you. It was like you’d fallen off the face of the Earth.”

Beca chuckled. “I kinda did, Stace.”

“It’s not funny! What if were hurt somewhere or worse – dead?”

“I know I pulled a dick move, Stacie. I now realize that I should have at least let you guys know I was alive, just moving on. But I missed you and thought about you often if that’s worth anything.”

The two friends caught up on what they’d been doing the last few years. Stacie talked about her research job, and Beca excitedly told how she was finally getting to produce music. “Los Angeles is awesome, Stacie. You have no idea. I’m slowing discovering who I am, and I’m feeling better about myself.”

Stacie then asked the hard question – why contact her now? “What makes now different?” The other end of the line was quiet. “Beca?” Stacie heard light sniffles coming from Beca. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Beca snuffled. “Hey, umm, hey, I’m worn out. All this has taken a lot out of me. I have so much to tell you. But can we pick this up another time? This afternoon? Or tomorrow even.”

Despite Beca’s confusing behavior, Stacie agreed to talk again later that afternoon. Apparently, her friend was going through some intense emotions and needed a break. Since Beca had finally reached out, Stacie wanted to do whatever it took to keep the tiny musician in her life. She truly missed the little snot.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Stacie’s text alert went off.

_From Beca: Hey. It’s me.  
_ _From Beca: Sorry I’m so weird.  
_ _From Stacie: I’m used to it, dork.  
_ _From Beca: I’m scared, Stacie._

Stacie cocked her head sideways, confused.

_From Stacie: Ummm, why?  
_ _From Beca: I’ve changed so much since I moved to L.A.  
_ _From Stacie: Why are we back to texting?  
_ _From Beca: I told you. I’m scared.  
_ _From Beca: Don’t hate me.  
_ _From Stacie: I could NEVER hate you. Even after you ghosted me for two years.  
_ _From Stacie: What’s going on?  
_ _From Stacie: Now you are scaring me.  
_ _From Beca: You really want to know what’s going on?  
_ _From Stacie: Please? I’m back to being worried about you._

Stacie’s FaceTime tone rang with the number she now knew was her friend’s. She answered, confused since she couldn’t see a face. “Fucker, stop dicking around. Uncover the camera.”

Beca’s voice was timid. “Promise me you won’t freak out?”

“I promise.”

When Beca’s thumb came off her camera, Stacie struggled to keep from gasping, but she couldn’t help to clap her hand over her mouth. Gone was Beca’s beautiful, long, brunette hair. Her hair was shaved close to her head, almost in a crew cut manner. Beca’s face was devoid of make-up, and she wore a t-shirt with the sleeves roughly torn off. Stacie wisely chose to say nothing while she recovered from the shock of seeing her friend’s new look. Finally, she squeaked out, “so this is why you didn’t want to FaceTime this morning.”

Her friend nodded as she clearly struggled to speak. She took a small wave towards the phone’s camera before stretching her hand out for a mock handshake. “Hi. I’m Caleb.”

Stacie was fighting to keep her questions at bay and to let her friend tell her tale. Stacie looked at her friend, the former Bella, the one who told her how she felt she never belonged, and who just introduced herself as Caleb. “Caleb.” She tested the name on her lips. “Caleb, Beca, Caleb. Okay, I get that. There’s just one letter difference, right?”

Stacie wasn’t sure if she really understood, but she could tell that her lack of an adverse reaction comforted her friend. Stacie also felt the picture was slowly getting clearer. The long-legged former Bella cautiously spoke. “So you changed your look. You go by a different name. Is it safe to presume you prefer male gender terms?”

The person across the camera from Stacie nodded. “Are you mad?” He sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

“My GOD, Bec… Caleb. Why the heck would I be mad? Is this why you never came back to Barden?”

“Part of it.” Caleb again explained how he never felt he fit in anywhere. He went further to tell that once he moved to Los Angeles how he’d met some friends who made him realize that his issues possibly stemmed from feeling as though he didn’t fit in his own body. Caleb explained how his newfound friends opened up his eyes to an entirely new world. “I’ve been living as Caleb almost a full year now, and I haven’t been happier.”

Stacie could see the transformation on her friend’s face as he began to share this realization with her. The joy was quite evident. In fact, Stacie thought Caleb looked happier than his happiest moments even with the Bellas, which was saying a lot. “I can’t say that I completely understand, Caleb.” Stacie was trying to be aware of using her friend’s preferred name and the correct gender. “But I support you. Completely.”

“I have so much to share with you, Stacie. It’s not all about the last two years. My life finally makes sense.” His voice had become earnest as he yearned to share things with his old Bella friend.

Stacie grinned. “I’m happy for you.”

The friends talked for easily another hour before deciding they could continue to catch up another day. Despite being emotionally exhausted, Stacie was indeed delighted to see the positive changes that had come over her friend.

* * *

After several days of texting and lots of phone conversations, Caleb and Stacie’s friendship fell back into place as if they had never stopped talking. It was the same yet different all in one. One afternoon, Stacie again posed the question she had been contemplating for a bit. “Caleb? I’d like to talk more about – why now? What’s happened to make you reach out to me? I mean, I know there’s more than you are telling me.”

Caleb was leaned back in his chair, munching on an apple. “I was frightened. I abandoned you and the Bellas. Plus, this,” he motioned up and down his body. “I was terrified you’d reject me, reject Caleb. My psychologist…”

“Wait! Your what?” Stacie’s shocked voice jolted Caleb into heightened awareness. As he cringed away from the phone, Stacie realized what she’d done. She softened her voice before talking again. “I’m sorry, Caleb. That just caught me off guard. Please go on.”

Caleb relaxed as he spoke again. “I’m having a hard time with some things, some decisions I need to make. My psychologist suggested that I reach out to someone from my past. Someone I trust. Implicitly. She said that maybe having someone from my past would help validate my future and help assure me that I’m making good choices.”

“Choices? Like what? I mean, it seems you have already made some pretty important decisions.” Stacie was still confused.

“Damn it, Stacie. You have no idea what all goes into this.” Caleb ran his hand through his stubby hair. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He slammed his fist down before rubbing his eyes, fighting against tears. “Stacie? Will you come to L.A. for a few days, at least? My doctor is right. I have no business doing this on my own. And you are the one person I trust implicitly. I’ll pay for your ticket and all.”

“Say no more. I’d love to see you, pipsqueak.”


	3. Decisions

Stacie arranged for several days off so she could spend a long weekend with her friend. She knew they not only had a lot more catching up to do but also that Caleb was struggling with many things that he needed her help to start sorting through. She had stuffed a week’s worth of clothes in a large duffle so she wouldn’t have to check a bag. While her seat wasn’t First Class, at least Caleb had sprung for Delta Comfort+ that gave her extended room for her long legs.

After landing, Stacie pulled her bag from the overhead and waited in the aisle of the plane to exit. She and Caleb had agreed they would meet at the top of the escalators in Departures. Traffic would be more manageable there than Arrivals. Despite having spent a great deal of time FaceTiming with Beca, Stacie feared she wouldn’t recognize her friend. Her head was on a swivel as soon as the escalator neared its peak.

After her eyes made a few passes across the crowd, she recognized an unmistakeably familiar smirk standing back from the throngs of people. It was Beca. But not. It was Caleb. He had the short, clipped hair Stacie was now familiar with after lots of FaceTime. Caleb also had a casual black leather jacket slung over his shoulder.

As Stacie approached, she saw her old friend reflected in his deep blue eyes. Stacie’s eyes fluttered to Caleb’s chest. Gone were the familiar curves Stacie had often admired during Bellas rehearsals. Caleb had on a skin-tight t-shirt with no sleeves. His posture was also different. He held his arms relaxed by his side; stance spread shoulder width. Stacie’s eyes drifted down, stopping at… well stopping at Caleb’s crotch. She couldn’t draw her eyes away until a familiar laugh boomed across the airport.

“Impressive, huh?” Caleb sauntered towards her friend, dropping his jacket on Stacie’s bag she’d tossed on the ground. He wrapped his arms around Stacie in a tight embrace. For the first time in two years. And damn, did it feel good.

Stacie pushed back a bit and looked at Caleb up and down again. She motioned towards Caleb’s chest with her eyebrows raised. “Binding,” Caleb answered the unspoken question. Stacie’s eyes drifted further downward. “I took a while to find the right size, but this one is my favorite. What do you think?” Stacie reached toward Caleb’s crotch with appreciative eyes, and he swatted her hand away. “No touching the goodies.”

* * *

After dropping Stacie’s bag off at Caleb’s apartment, the pair walked to a neighborhood diner for lunch. Stacie had taken an early flight and was starving. “Yeah, I have a psychologist _and_ a doctor. Oh, and a lawyer. There’s a lot of layers to all this.” Caleb explained that the decision to transition was easy now that he understood that he was indeed a guy trapped in a chick’s body. He couldn’t even use the term ‘woman’ without shuddering. “The other decisions. Those are what suck. Life-altering decisions.” The server put down their meals in front of them.

“Like transitioning isn’t a huge enough decision? Come on, Caleb.” Stacie took a huge bite of her hamburger, laughing as the grease dripped down her chin. “The hard part is over. You know who you are!” After wiping her mouth, she reached over the table and chucked her friend on the shoulder. “The rest is gravy.”

Caleb reached up and grabbed her friend’s hand. “No, Stacie. My decisions have just started.” He explained how he found a center with specialists that concentrated on transgender issues. He first worked with a psychologist who verified that he indeed had gender dysphoria. He then met with counselors who outlined all his options of different ways he could deal with the situation to help provide relief from the dysphoric feelings. “I decided to start with living as Caleb to see if that was enough. I asked co-workers to use my new name and refer to me with male pronouns.”

“Then, I kept going further along the path. As I took each step, it still didn’t seem enough. I went to court and changed my name and gender on my driver’s license. I even petitioned Washington state to issue a new birth certificate with the correct gender.” Caleb pushed his empty plate back towards the center of the table. “All this helped. Yeah. People were finally beginning to see me for the person I saw in myself. But I still felt something was missing. So, I took the next step.”

Caleb explained his first few visits to his endocrinologist to explore hormone therapy. “Testosterone. That’s some serious shit, Stacie. The doctor gave me meticulous explanations of the effects, both good and bad. I kind of freaked a little and went back to the psychologist.”

Caleb talked about how the psychologist listened to his fears about the drug that would probably make a tremendous difference in his life. That’s when the doctors both suggested Caleb reach out to a trusted friend in his past to help him navigate through these decisions. “This body has me trapped, Stacie,” Caleb motioned up and down. “I want out of it. I just don’t know if I can do it.”

Stacie motioned the server over and paid the tab so the friends could go back to the apartment to have more privacy for the talk. As soon as they walked in the door, Caleb blurted out, “What about biological kids? I may want kids of my own someday.”

He hung his head and muttered. “Chloe wanted kids. I know we were never even dating, but I loved her, Stacie. I think I still love her. She used to tease me about having beautiful babies together with her voice and my musical talent.” Caleb threw himself on the couch and covered his face with his hands. “If I start T, I can’t give her that.”

“Damn it, Caleb. Screw Chloe. She’s not here. In fact, she’s why _you_ are here – alone – and struggling with some of these decisions. Make these choices for you and only you. If you think you may want biological children down the road, then have your eggs extracted and frozen before you start T. Simple. Decision made.”

Relief poured over Caleb’s face as the solution to that choice proved more simple than he’d ever thought. He raised his eyebrows and chuckled. “Damn, Stacie. I should have called you sooner!” He explained that he had in his mind that once he started testosterone, he’d get fixated on having biological children. “I’d have to go off the hormone, let my period start up again to do the egg retrieval. A huge rigamarole. I’m such an idiot.”

“No, just overwhelmed.”

* * *

Throughout the extended weekend, the friends caught up on life and other things. Stacie shared pictures of the Bellas and talked about winning the a capella World Championship in Germany. Caleb showed Stacie the studio where he worked and let her listen to some of the projects on which he was currently working.

He also introduced Stacie to two of his first transgender friends he met when he moved to Los Angeles, Alex and Peter. Stacie was quite surprised to find that Alex and Peter were together as a gay male couple. “Sexuality and gender identity are completely separate, Stacie. Neither defines the other. And sometimes, we’ve found that sexual orientation is fluid, often changing during one’s transition.”

Scattered between catching up on life and meeting new friends, Caleb shared with Stacie some of his other concerns, several of which focused on the effects of testosterone. Another which he was particularly struggling with was his voice. Stacie knew how important music was to her friend. Yet the doctors could not tell him how his voice might respond to the hormones he would need to take to promote “male physical traits.” Masculizination is how he explained it.

“When I start taking T, I’ll go through puberty like the little teenage boy I’ve always looked like. Yeah, I’ll get cool facial hair and bulk up. But I’m also going to get acne, and my vocal cords will change. I’m sure my voice will get all squeaky as I go through all this.” He looked over at Stacie. “What if I can’t sing anymore, Stace?” Anxiety etched itself across Caleb’s face.

Stacie reached over and grabbed his arm. “I know it’s scary, bud. All of this is crazy as hell. You have to weigh your options. I would think that taking testosterone would be an integral part of your transition into the man you are. The man you’ve always have been. You may surprise yourself, Caleb. I bet you are going to sound sexy as hell with a deep voice.” Stacie suggested Caleb find a vocal coach, maybe one associated with the studio he worked at. Once he started T, voice lessons and vocal exercises might be a way to at least keep most of his range.

* * *

Stacie’s visit did both of them a tremendous amount of good. Stacie reconnected with one of her best friends as she helped him work out a lot of his issues while assuring him that he wasn’t in this transitional process alone. Caleb walked Stacie into the airport for her return trip to Atlanta. “I can never thank you enough, Stace. I’m sorry that I cut you out of my life for so long.”

The taller brunette shrugged as she responded that she realized how vital it was for Caleb to have found his way himself. “I’m here now, and you aren’t alone. That’s all that’s important.” They gave each other tremendous hugs, then Stacie picked up her bag and headed towards airport security.

When Stacie finally sank into her seat on the plane, she was utterly exhausted. The mental strain she’d experienced over the last several days also put immense tension on her physical body. Stacie couldn’t imagine what all her old pal had faced on his own and was undoubtedly glad Caleb had reached out to her for support. Especially for the things that Stacie could provide valid feedback after knowing Caleb from college. She felt she knew what Beca would have wanted for her future and hope she helped Caleb make sound decisions.

* * *

The two pretty much kept in touch daily. To extract eggs, Caleb had to go on a strict regime of fertility drugs, mainly female hormones for about two weeks before the retrieval process. During this time, he became a person that Stacie could only call a raging bitch. “Damn it, Stacie. I’ve always hated my mood swings during my time of the month, so explain to me again why am I choosing to pump my body full of more of these horrid female hormones? Everything is fucking intensified.” Stacie tried not to laugh but reassured her friend that everything was a necessary evil.

Alex regularly took Caleb to his fertility appointments. The doctor would use a vaginal ultrasound to determine the number of mature follicles and when those eggs would be ready for retrieval. These check-ups were particularly stressful on Caleb since anything reminding him he even had a vagina was traumatizing.

Still, going through his period and having these evasive exams were indeed necessary evils. He kept telling himself that this, too, was only a means to an end. Soon, the doctor announced it was time and gave Caleb his trigger injection to simulate his ovaries into releasing eggs into his fallopian tubes. He would return in three days for the extraction.

Since Stacie couldn’t make it, both Alex and Peter went with Caleb for his extraction process. The doctor was able to retrieve a sizable number of eggs, which immediately went off to be frozen. Caleb needed several days to recover and spent his time in his darkened bedroom, avoiding work, his Los Angeles friends, and even Stacie. Eventually, he had enough of his self-imposed pity party and dragged himself out of bed and returned to his endocrinologist.

* * *

One Saturday afternoon not too long after Caleb’s egg retrieval, Stacie received a message with pictures from Caleb, front and side poses with him only in his binder top and shorts.

_From Stacie: Ummm are you going to start sending me nudies next?  
_ _From Caleb: Dude! No! That’s sick._

Another picture came across with a square bandaid on Caleb’s abdomen. Still confused, Stacie called her friend. “Okay, Caleb. Quit being so mysterious. What’s up?”

“I started T today!” Caleb’s voice was full of excitement as he shared his news and pointed out his testosterone patch. “Stacie, you have no idea what this means!”

“I might have some idea. I get to put up with a moody, hormonal teenage boy with a squeaky voice,” Stacie teased despite being delighted for her friend.

“Shut up,” Caleb explained how he was going to take daily pictures of his body and make weekly voice recordings to document the changes in his body. “I won’t subject you to all of them, but Jack told me how he wished he had chronicled his journey. After this process is closer to its end, a counselor at the transgender support center is going to help me edit everything into a time-lapse video to show other FTMs who are starting the process, so they know what to expect.”

And so the journey began.


	4. More Changes and a Surprise

As time progressed, Stacie could tell the masculinity changes in Caleb through the pictures he sent. While his skin did get oily and he got acne just like in his actual teenage years, Caleb quickly forgot the pains of second puberty one afternoon. He excitedly called Stacie to let her know he didn’t get his period. “Dude. That’s one of the things I’ve always hated about being a chick. Periods are useless. Stupid. The bane of my existence. Every month, they are just a reminder that I was born into the wrong body.” Stacie didn’t bother to remind him of the purpose that periods served in the human reproductive cycle. “What’s so crazy is that when I realized I was late, my first thought was that I was pregnant. Then I remembered – I haven’t had sex since I was at Barden.” Caleb laughed giddily.

“You are such a weirdo!” Stacie kind of knew what all the male hormones would do to Caleb’s body. Since his periods had stopped, his voice would soon start to change, followed by hair growth – particularly on his face and body. She chuckled at thoughts of Caleb with a beard and a hairy chest. From what Caleb had told her, most transmen choose to go with a full beard to celebrate the life they hadn’t yet have a chance to live. Honestly, she didn’t care what he looked like; she only wanted him to be happy.

Stacie did have some news of her own but decided not to overshadow her friend’s excitement. She still had a few finalizations to work out, and then she’d spring the news on Caleb when the time was right. After the friends hung up, Stacie returned to the paperwork she’d been buried elbows deep in.

She had applied for a transfer to her company’s Los Angeles office. Atlanta was becoming tedious, and she felt a change of scenery would do her good. After being hired in Los Angeles, Stacie was simply going through the motions of making sure everything was taken care of with her Atlanta rental. She liquidated most of her furniture save for her bedroom suite and did spring cleaning on her wardrobe and household items.

A few weeks later, she decided to let Caleb in on her plans. She needed to fly to Los Angeles for some human resources paperwork regarding the transfer and acted like she was only coming for a visit to check up on Caleb. She’d seen pictures of his changes, but nothing substituted for seeing those changes face to face. [His face had cleared up, and he had the beginnings of a scruffy beard](https://www.instagram.com/p/CBihq10FGpI/?igshid=15px9dlgg8b3w). (middle set of images?) While his voice was still a bit squeaky, it had deepened considerably. Stacie avoided teasing him since she knew he was going to vocal training regularly to preserve his singing voice.

“I was surprised when I got your message that you were coming this weekend. I mean, I’m glad. But shocked.”

Stacie grinned. “I’m not here just for you, you weirdo. I have an ulterior motive.” Caleb raised his eyebrows. “I think your apartment is too small. How about we find you a bigger place?” She hooked her arm in his as they walked to the car.

Caleb rolled his eyes. “Have you _looked_ at housing prices in California? I can barely afford where I live now.”

“What if you got a roommate?” Caleb didn’t respond. “Okay, what if _I_ was your roommate? Would you move into a larger place then?”

“Legs, don’t tease the transman. I can take you down now.” He flexed his arm muscles, which had indeed grown sizably.

Stacie stepped back in mock fear. “Seriously. Atlanta was getting old and boring. I got a transfer to the office here in L.A. I’m going to need a place to live and figured it’d be cool if we lived together again. You know, for old times sake. I mean, we don’t _have_ to be roommates; I just thought it’d be cool.”

An animated Caleb threw his arms around his friend’s neck. “Hell yeah, Stace. That’s the best news I’ve heard… well in a long time.”

Stacie met with her new supervisor at her job on Friday then she and Caleb spent the weekend searching for a place to live that would fit both of them. As luck would have it, a larger unit was opening up in Caleb’s building. He was already established there, along with his deposits, and his excellent reputation with his landlord. Within six weeks, Stacie had moved to California, and she and Caleb were both settled into the new apartment.

* * *

“Stacie, can you help me?” Caleb was struggling with his binder. While testosterone had made some of the fatty tissue around his breasts smaller, Caleb’s workouts had bulked up his chest and arms that sometimes made routine tasks difficult. Stacie pulled the edges together while Caleb struggled with the zipper that would help the clothing flatten what did remain of his chest. “Keep working out, and it’s going to be time for you to go up a size, dude.”

Caleb let out the breath he’d been holding in to constrict his chest for the binding. “Maybe it’s time I get rid of these things.” He pulled a t-shirt on over his binder then put on one of his traditional flannel shirts. “I never liked them anyway.”

Stacie chuckled at the familiar clothes her friend often chose. “Have you looked into top-surgery?”

“Transgender mastectomy, yeah. I got the names of several recommended surgeons from the center. I’m researching which accept my insurance then have to get preapproval from my insurance to help cover the costs.”

They talked about Caleb’s insurance and how fortunate he was to have good coverage that covered his doctor visits, medications, and surgeries deemed vital to treat gender dysphoria. “California doesn’t give insurance companies much choice. But I still know I’m luckier than many in my situation.”

After he did his due diligence in selecting a surgeon, the doctor set a date for Caleb’s surgery. Stacie, Alex, and Peter insisted on throwing a _Ta Ta to Caleb’s TaTa’s_ party. The invitations read:

_Join us on April 8 th, at 2 pm for a boobie-q and drinks for a fun-filled boob-voyage for Caleb_

Alex and Peter insisted on helping Stacie plan and decorate the entire party. Peter had a baker pal who made red velvet cupcakes with white frosting and pink areolas with nipples on top. Alex created a drink station with a sign that said, “Pick your cup size.” He proceeded to write bra sizes on all the solo cups. Stacie took over the grill, cooking burgers and hot dogs as well as grilling some vegetables for variety.

Everyone who showed up had a blast. At one point, an intoxicated attendee got the crowd involved in a sing-along of the old Bing Crosby song but changed the words to “Thanks for the mammories.” They even played games like bra pong and “Pin the Boobs on the Boy.” The party was quite the success and helped Caleb process saying goodbye to body parts that had been an integral part of his life since his first trip through puberty. His local support system was unwavering, and for that, he was forever thankful.

Caleb’s surgeon did an excellent job, and the incisions healed nicely. The doctor did such a good job that Caleb almost cried when he saw how the scars would blend in with the curvature of his chest muscles as he continued his workouts. Once his chest hair grew back, everything would look close to natural as if breasts had never existed on his body.

* * *

The longer Stacie and Caleb lived together, the more confident Caleb became with his new identity. He now sported a full beard, was buff, and was even maintaining good range and quality with his singing voice. As the hair came in on his face and body, Caleb grew the hair out on his head as well, wore it not cut so close to his scalp, choosing a style that he felt fit his personality. He even was more comfortable with Stacie posting pictures of them together on Instagram and other social media outlets.

Stacie was still in touch with all the Bellas, but Caleb’s appearance had changed so much, he didn’t readily fear being discovered by the former Bellas. As far as they were concerned, he was Stacie’s mysterious new roommate. Caleb always knew he’d probably have to face them someday; he just wanted to do it on his personal terms when he was more ready.

One afternoon, Stacie heard a knock on their door. Neither was expecting a visitor, so imagine Stacie’s surprise when she opened the door to a high pitched squeal and a body hurling through the air towards her. “STACIE! I missed you.”

“Chloe? Ummmm. What are you doing here?” Stacie was shocked.

“I’ve missed you, Stacie. You’ve moved across the country to California. You don’t visit. You barely call. I decided if I wanted to see you, I needed to come here. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Stacie looked nervously over her shoulder before stepping aside. “Ummm sure, sure. Come on in.”

“Nice place,” Chloe announced as she looked around. “Now, where are you keeping that hunk of a roommate of yours? Caleb, is it? I keep seeing the pictures of you two all over your Instagram.” Stacie was still stunned and didn’t know how to answer. Chloe kept prattling. “Hmmm, is he more than a roommate?” Her voice was teasing but was enough to shock Stacie into responding.

“N-n-no. Just a roommate.” Stacie couldn’t figure how to get Chloe out of the apartment before Caleb came out of his room. Chloe showing up out of the blue seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. “Hey, are you hungry? Let’s grab a bite to eat. I know you had a long flight.”

“Stacie! Chill. I’m okay. I want to meet your sex-god roommate. Maybe he’ll go out to eat with us. Is he single?” Chloe kept going on about Caleb, pumping the former Bella for information.

When Caleb walked into the living room, his head was down, and he had earbuds in stuffed in his ears. When he glanced up and saw a familiar red shock of hair sitting with Stacie on the couch, he completely freaked out and raced back to his room, hoping Chloe hadn’t seen him. He grabbed his phone and texted Stacie.

 _From Caleb: WTF? CHLOE’S HERE?  
_ _From Caleb: Stacie, dude. What if she’d seen me?_

Stacie knew the vibrations from her phone probably meant Caleb was texting her. She excused herself and went to his room to find Caleb pacing the floor, nervous sweat rolling down his face. “Stacie,” he whispered. “Why is she here?” Stacie explained that the visit was just as much of a surprise to her as him. “We’ll come up with a plan, bud. Promise.” She knew Caleb still had feelings for Chloe, and this certainly wasn’t the way he wanted to out himself to her.

“Hey. Why don’t you come to meet Chloe? I mean, you look totally different – not Beca-like at all. I mean, you can’t wear that tank and flannel since it might be a give-away to your past. But put on some nice jeans and a different shirt and come out there. I bet you will pass. She already thinks you are my hot, new roommate. Asked if we were dating and everything.”

Caleb wrinkled his nose at the thought. He wasn’t sure he could pass, especially as nervous as he was. After all, this was Chloe they were talking about. When the redhead’s voice came down the hall, he froze. “Stacie? Are you okay? You disappeared on me.” Caleb tensed up and looked towards the door in abject fear.

Stacie picked a long-sleeved button-down shirt from Caleb’s closet. “Sorry, Chloe. I’ll be right out.” She turned to her roommate. “Come on, dude. Don’t be a dick. Let’s go introduce Caleb to Chloe.”

After changing his shirt and make sure his hair was just right, Caleb followed Stacie to the living room. Chloe was sitting with her back to the hallway but turned around when she felt them come in. “Chloe, this is Caleb, my roommate. Caleb, Chloe was a Bella, too, on our a capella team I told you about from college.”

The redhead stood and stepped towards Caleb. “Nice to meet you, Caleb. I’ve seen your pictures all over Stacie’s Insta and told myself I needed to get myself out to Los Angeles and meet you.” She took another step forward. “Just a warning; I’m a hugger.” When she stretched out her arms to grab Caleb, he panicked and back-peddled.

“Sorry,” he choked, unable to think of a good excuse not to hug the redhead. “Germaphobe.” In reality, Caleb couldn’t imagine feeling Chloe’s arms around him after so many years. He was afraid he’d give himself away. He rubbed his hands through his beard as he felt his nerves began to start up again.

“Yipes. It’s okay. I’ll try to remember.” She winked at him. “I still think you are cute.” Caleb blushed as Chloe turned to Stacie. “I’m starving. Let’s go eat.”

“Hey,” Stacie chuckled. “I asked when you got here if you were hungry. What gives?”

“I wanted this sexy specimen of a man to join us.” She moved closer to Caleb and ran her finger across her chest. She put her face close to his. “I have a feeling we’re going to be really fast friends.”

* * *

The longer the weekend progressed, the more comfortable Caleb got with Chloe. He was confident that she had no idea who he was. Despite the pain of the loss of the college friendship that Caleb felt in his chest for Chloe, he was beginning to enjoy being around her again – letting Chloe get to know Caleb, his true self. He was slowly convincing himself that things might work out for him to have his former best friend back in his life.

When the time came for Chloe to leave, Caleb was the one to drive her to the airport. “Thanks for not minding that I showed up out of the blue, Caleb. Stacie is one of my closest friends, and I’ve missed her a lot. Plus, I needed to meet her mysterious, sexy roomie.” Chloe hooked a teasing finger in Caleb’s shirt sleeve as he ducked his head and blushed.

She asked if they could stay in touch, and of course, Caleb agreed. He had Chloe back in his life, and he wasn’t letting go. Chloe looked at her watch. “I guess I need to get going. Thanks again for the ride, Caleb.” She turned towards security.

“Chloe,” he called out after her, and she stopped and turned back to look at him. Without thinking, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her for a quick but tight hug. “Have a safe flight. Let me know when you make it home.” The hug was brief but powerful. With that, he spun around and walked away so she wouldn’t see his tears.

* * *

Caleb tried to close the door to the apartment quietly so that Stacie wouldn’t know he was home. “Hey there, lover boy.” Stacie’s teasing voice startled him. “Did you get Chloe safely on her way? Or is she going to follow you back through that door?”

“Shut up.” He grabbed a beer from the fridge before collapsing on the couch.

“Seriously. Are you okay? I can’t believe she showed up out of the blue like that, Caleb. I promise I didn’t know she was coming.”

The two friends went through a six-pack of beer as they talked about the weekend and Caleb’s rush of feelings he thought he had buried deep down inside. “I felt like I’m somehow lying to her, not telling her who I really am.”

Stacie told him he was ridiculous – that he was Caleb and that Chloe was getting to know Caleb was a good thing. “Besides, she seemed to be into you, dude. What’s up with that? Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, I’m more than okay with that. I think. I mean, she was just being Chloe. The same ol’ flirty redhead we all know and love.”

“Mmmm, I have something for you.” Stacie pulled out her phone and messaged her roommate a half a dozen pictures or so of him and Chloe. Caleb had been unaware of that Stacie had even taken pictures. Yet they were undeniable proof that Chloe had a particular look in her eyes when she was talking to Caleb, flirting with him. He chose his favorite to make his lock screen before heading to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I saw the linked pictures on Instagram, I knew that either of the first two pictures is how I imagine Caleb. The creator may do an image with a full beard. Awesome!


	5. Spring Break

Chloe messaged Caleb to let him know that she’d gotten back to Atlanta safely. Despite what must have been a long trip, the redhead excitedly recapped her entire weekend as if Caleb hadn’t been with her most of the time. While they did not talk every day, over the next few weeks, Chloe and Caleb talked and texted a LOT. Caleb could feel his feelings for Chloe coming back in full swing. He tried to shield her from finding out how much he liked her, afraid of the consequences. Consequences of her finding out he was not only a transman but also her former college best friend. As much as his guilt plagued him, his terror at losing Chloe was even worse.

But Chloe was no holds barred in her endless flirting and pursuing him. She had always had a way of making him feel good about himself back at Barden, like he belonged. And now, without even knowing she was doing so, Chloe continued to bring a warm and cozy feeling to his life.

Caleb’s FaceTime ring went off, and he answered, propping his phone on his Popsocket stand which was pushed across the desk. He always was afraid to talk to Chloe with her seeing only his face in fear she would recognize his eyes. The redhead had always loved Beca’s eyes, and he knew that might be his undoing. “Hey, Chlo. How’s your day going?”

They talked a while about Chloe’s students and their silly antics. Caleb shared about some of the projects he had going on at work. “I want to hear some of your work, Caleb. All I know is you are some mysterious music producer. I bet you are famous, and I don’t even know who you really are.” Chloe’s giggles sent chills down Caleb’s spine as her statement struck home for him – she had no idea how close she was to the truth.

When she asked how he got started in producing music, he answered her in vague terms that were enough to satisfy her curiosity. He knew he couldn’t exactly tell her that he had gotten into mixing after he broke his leg in high school and was homebound for two months. Or how he met this incredible group of girls in college who fueled his love for making mash-ups for their a capella competitions. No, the truth would out him for sure. As his mind was spinning, he thought of ways he might ease into letting Chloe know more about him. Something had to give. The deciept was killing him. In fact, it was now or never.

“Hey, Chlo, isn’t your Spring Break next month?” He knew it was but wasn’t sure how else to bring it up. After asking her plans, she told him she had planned on going to some wilderness camp and having some downtime with another college friend. Caleb held his breath and invited her to Los Angles.

After a loud squeal, Chloe exclaimed, “Caleb, I’d love to visit. I know Aubrey would be tickled to see Stacie, too. She was jealous that I got to see Stace without her on my last trip.”

Caleb’s mind froze. His plan was quickly unraveling and had to think quickly. Dealing with Chloe’s visit had been hard enough; he’d never make it if Aubrey came along. “Ummm, I was sort of hoping maybe you could come by yourself.” He paused to gauge her reaction. “I know this Bellas group you and Stacie were in are tight-knit, but I kind of want to get to know you better.” He took in a deep breath before blurting out. “And I know this is kind of fast, but I like you, Chloe. A lot.”

When he looked back towards his phone screen, Chloe was beaming at him, her eyes misty. His heart skipped. “I’d love to come to see you, Caleb. Alone. And for the record, I like you, too. A lot.”

* * *

Stacie was excited that Caleb had invited her friend to visit for Spring Break. “You dodged a bullet there, short stack. Aubrey would have thrown all kinds of wrenches into your life. But you already knew that. I’m glad Chloe didn’t press the issue.”

Caleb planned out an entire week of activities for when Chloe came. He took time off from work so he could spend as much time as possible with her. Stacie had to strong-arm her way to getting Caleb to let her have some alone time with Chloe since they were friends, too. Caleb was extremely nervous but hoped the things he planned would not only help Chloe to know him even better but allow him to come out as transgender and to reveal his past identity.

The first Saturday Chloe was there, Stacie and Caleb threw a party. Not a rip-roaring drunk fest, more like a large dinner party with several of Stacie and Caleb’s friends from work, and some of Caleb’s transgender friends. Everyone knew the situation between Caleb and Chloe and were on their best behavior. After dinner was over, Caleb took the first step of his plan. He plugged his phone into the sound system and started playing some mash-ups he’d made explicitly for this party. While they were new mixes, he made a conscious effort to stay close to the style he used in college.

Chloe did not fail him and grabbed him by both hands to drag him reluctantly to the makeshift dance floor that they’d cleared in the living room. He’d always loved dancing with Chloe and soon forgot about his two left feet and fell into his former habits of losing himself with the redhead. At one point, he was sweating up a storm and begged off of the next song in favor of having a drink.

After handing Chloe a drink, she ran her palm up to his chin through the scruff of his beard. He briefly closed his eyes and relished in her affection. “I like this music,” she innocently said as she sipped her drink. “Yours?” He held his breath as he nodded. “It reminds me of someone I used to know. She was a Bella and made the most awesome mash-ups.” Chloe’s voice was wistful as she stared off in space. She then shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. “But that’s neither here nor there. What’s important is that I’m here with you, and I have you for the entire week.”

Caleb grinned as Chloe reached over and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. He sighed a breath of relief as the first step in his revelation was complete. Music. He leaned back against the kitchen island and put his arm around the redhead. “I’m glad you are here, too, Chloe. You have no idea.”

* * *

Sunday morning, Caleb had made brunch reservations at _The Butcher, The Baker, The Cappuccino Maker_ , a popular restaurant in West Hollywood. The packed dining establishment offered excellent food and colorful patrons. People watching was a premium, particularly if outdoor seating was requested.

Stacie ordered her standard breakfast burrito while Caleb asked for the banana foster French toast with a double side of bacon. Chloe couldn’t make up her mind, so finally, Caleb informed the server, “the lady will have the smoked salmon eggs benedict with a California fruit bowl on the side.” He also ordered buttermilk biscuits with whipped maple butter for the table. When he saw Chloe looking at him with a shocked expression, he shrugged his shoulders. “What can I say? I love to eat, and this place has some incredible food.”

“That’s not it, Caleb. How did you know to order the perfect breakfast for me?”

Caleb chuckled. “Well, it was either that or the avocado toast, and I figured you needed something more substantial.”

Chloe’s mouth dropped open, not realizing that Caleb knew her probably better than anyone in her life. She also didn’t know this was all a part of his grand plan to reveal himself. He knew she’d probably have a hard time deciding off the menu. She was Chloe Beale after all and had picked out what he thought she’d like. Another step: food.

As the friends ate, Chloe began to look around at the patrons. While nothing overtly stood out, her curiosity finally got the best of her. “What type of place did you bring me to?”

Despite knowing what she was asking, Caleb responded with a chuckle. “A restaurant, Chloe. Where else? Thus the coffee, food, other people.”

“But what _kind_ of place?” She was now whispering. Both Caleb and Stacie were fighting off their laughter. The redhead motioned towards a pair of fancily dressed drag queens who were being obnoxiously loud, obviously enjoying their meals.

“We **_are_** in West Hollywood, Chloe.” Stacie decided to bail Caleb out. “Is that okay with you? The whole LGBTQ community?”

“Y-y-yes,” Chloe sputtered. “It’s just that most everyone here looks… so normal.”

Stacie rolled her eyes. “Everyone here **_is_** normal, Chloe. Maybe not your kind of normal, but normal.”

Chloe began to protest, insisting she didn’t mean anything about what she said. She had just never been around this many “community members” before.

“Chloe, do you remember Alex and Jack from the party last night?” Caleb observed her face for reactions.

“Yeah, the gay couple,” the redhead announced. “They were a lot of fun,”

“They are more than gay men, Chlo. They were gay transmen.”

Chloe took some time to process what Caleb said before replying. “Hmmm, I would have never guessed. That’s cool.” The redhead then went on eating her breakfast as if Caleb had just announced the sky was blue. He looked at Stacie, who grinned and shrugged her shoulders.

* * *

The trio did some touristy things that afternoon. Chloe insisted on getting a “Map to the Homes of the Stars” and made Stacie drive around Hollywood to ogle houses where stars may or may not lived. Regardless, acting like they were super secret spies and secret paparazzi or something was fun.

The week was filled with a variety of activities to show Chloe the eclectic experiences Los Angeles area had to offer. They visited the Warner Brother studios, where Caleb geeked out looking at all the different Batmobiles, and Chloe explored every inch of the Friend’s Central Perk set. Chloe insisted on going to see the La Brae Tar Pits and watching the archeologists work. Of course, they visited the Hollywood Walk of Fame, posing for pictures with various the stars of an assortment of people. Because the schedule had been so packed, Chloe and Caleb decided to save Disneyland for another trip.

They also spent a full day on the Santa Monica Pier and wandering around the shops along Santa Monica Boulevard, picking up small trinkets and random pieces of clothing. Caleb snuck into one gift shop and got Chloe a snowball filled with sand and a three-dimensional representation of the amusement park at the pier. He knew she’d get a kick out of the cheesy souvenir since it was like the ones she used to get Beca.

Once the sun started to set, the couple was walking down the boulevard towards Caleb’s car when the sound of a guitar caught their attention. Chloe dragged them towards the street performer. The young man was tall and lanky with a shock of dirty blonde hair that fell across his face.

 _You shout it out, but I can't hear a word you say_  
 _I'm talking loud, not saying much_  
 _I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet_ _  
You shoot me down, but I get up_

Chloe clapped her hand over her mouth and squeezed Caleb’s tightly. She leaned over and whispered in his ear. “I haven’t heard that song in _ages.”_ She excitedly listened as the man went through the torturous lyrics. “He’s terrific.”

Knowing what that song meant to Chloe, Caleb fished a five-dollar bill from his wallet and dropped it in the busker’s hat.

“Thanks, man.”

“No problem. You’re good.” Caleb nodded towards the performer’s guitar. “Do you mind?”

“Go ahead, dude.”

Caleb carefully picked up the guitar and slung the strap over his neck, strumming a few times to get a feel for the strings. He hadn’t planned this and picked up in the middle of a song that felt right.

 _Well, you almost had me fooled  
_ _Told me that I was nothing without you  
_ _Oh, but after everything you've done  
_ _I can thank you for how strong I have become  
_ _'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell  
_ _I had to learn how to fight for myself_

He hummed a few bars before he picked up singing again.

 _I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin'  
_ _I hope your soul is changin', changin'_

He stared off in space, continuing to strum and hum before he sang one last part of the song.

 _I'm proud of who I am  
_ _No more monsters, I can breathe again  
_ _And you said that I was done  
_ _Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come  
_ _'Cause I can make it on my own_

Caleb gently put the street performer’s guitar back on its stand and fished out another twenty-dollar bill to drop in the guy’s hat. “Never quit singing, man.” Caleb grabbed a shocked Chloe’s hand, and they continued towards his car. Another landmark: Singing.

“Wow, you _can_ sing. I knew you loved music but was always afraid to ask you if you sang, too. Please tell me you do this as more than a hobby walking around on Santa Monica Boulevard.”

Caleb grinned. He hadn’t tested his singing voice in front of anyone other than Stacie. Caleb was proud of how it held out. In fact, he thought it sounded pretty good, all things considered. “Naw, it’s just a hobby.”

“We’ll see about that. I feel some karaoke in the near future.”

Caleb kept a secure grip on Chloe’s hand all the way home, his fingers firmly laced in hers, reveling in the comfort of her touch. His confidence was steadily rising the more time they spent together. He’d also started to become more accepting of Chloe’s touch, remembering how much he loved her affections at Barden.

* * *

Back at the apartment, the pair sprawled out on the couch with Chloe lying on Caleb. She began running her hand across his chest, eventually slipping her hand into his shirt. His breath caught then he relaxed and enjoyed her tender touch. “How do you feel about soulmates?” Chloe’s voice was quiet. When he didn’t respond, Chloe kept talking. “I used to believe everyone had a soulmate, one person to whom we are inexplicably drawn, destined to be with.”

Caleb pulled Chloe in tighter to him. “Do you not believe that anymore?”

“I thought I’d found that person in college. But I never told her how I felt. Then we got into this stupid argument, and she just disappeared. She literally fell off the face of the Earth, never to be heard from again. I was devastated. And angry at myself for not ever telling her how I felt. On top of that, it was my fault she’d left.”

Guilt began to sink into Caleb’s chest. “I’m sure it wasn’t your fault. At least not all of it. Maybe she had other issues.” They lay there silently for a bit as Caleb gathered the courage to speak again. “I’m sorry you went through that, Chloe, and I’m so sorry she hurt you. Nobody deserves to feel like that.” He was fighting back the tears, hearing that not only how Chloe had feelings for Beca back then but how difficult a time Chloe had when he left.

She pushed off him a bit to look at his face. “I’m only telling you these things to let you know I’ve been hurt in the past. I really like you, Caleb. I know we met not too long ago, but I feel like I’ve known you forever. Everything feels so right. I’d even go as far as I could see myself falling in love with you.” She moved her face close to his, shut her eyes, and pressed her lips against his. When he didn’t respond, she started to pull back. Caleb pressed the palm of his hand against her back, pushing her back into him and kissed her. The kiss was short but long enough to establish a spark, a definite connection between the pair.

Caleb shifted his body, letting Chloe fall to the couch beside him as he rolled over on top of her. He looked into her eyes and knew what to do. Ghosting his lips across hers, Caleb felt his body melt downwards, and their lips touch. Caleb sighed in contentment as his body dropped as close to Chloe’s as he could get. The kiss deepened as their breaths and tongues mingled, and soon the couple became lost in each other. Caleb let his hands roam over Chloe’s body, enjoying the curves he’d only imagined touching this way. He felt Chloe touch him; her fingers grab at his chest then start to untuck his shirt. He let her pull it out some, but stopped her from taking his shirt off. Chloe seemed satisfied with touching his skin and running her fingers through his chest hair as they kissed and explored each other’s mouths.

He dropped his lips to Chloe’s neck and began to roughly rub his beard on her soft skin as she scraped his back with her fingernails as he began to suck on the side of her throat gently. The redhead moaned and lifted her hips upwards. Instinctively he pressed his hips down against hers. As she groaned, he realized what he’d done but couldn’t stop since Chloe felt amazing. He hadn’t been this aroused in… well ever. When he felt Chloe’s hand dip down to the front of his jeans, he froze as if he’d been doused with ice water. He grabbed her hand before she could go further and rolled off Chloe.

“Ummmm, I think we are moving too quickly. Maybe we should slow things down a bit here.”

Chloe nodded her head as she panted, trying to catch her breath. “I guess I got a little carried away.”

He looked at her neck and smirked. “Maybe it was me who got carried away.” He pressed his finger against a light bruise which was forming on her neck. “We have plenty of time, Chloe. Plenty of time.”

After the pair both calmed down and caught their breath, Chloe gave Caleb a chaste kiss and excused herself to go to bed.

Caleb wasn’t sure what his body was telling, the sensations he was feeling. He’d been horny for the lack of a better word since he started on testosterone, but nothing like this. When Caleb undressed to take a cold shower, he looked down and saw that the body part he used to know as his clitoris was more engorged than usual and throbbing.

He stepped into the shower and leaned a forearm against the wall. He reached down with his other hand to stimulate himself. Surprisingly enough, he was able to masturbate himself through an orgasm more intense than he had ever experienced. Once he felt the sexual relief course over his body, he chuckled and decided that that body part wasn’t female genitalia, after all, just a penis awaiting renovations.


	6. Who ARE You?

The next morning, Caleb woke up early and was making coffee in the kitchen when Stacie came in and began to pull out ingredients for breakfast. When she saw the look on her roommates' face and heard him whistling, she grabbed him by the shoulder. “Oh my god, Caleb Mitchell. You got laid last night, didn’t you? Wait? How did that happen? Did you tell Chloe? God, I’m so confused. But I know you got laid. I recognize that look.”

He shushed her and quietly yet excitedly told Stacie about his heavy make-out session with Chloe and how his body responded. Then he explained what had happened later in his shower. “I know it’s probably TMI, but it was the best. orgasm. ever.”

“What are you two in here, giggling about?” Chloe caught them both off guard as she came in. She sauntered over to Caleb and kissed him. “Good morning, sexy.” Caleb wrapped his arms around her and returned the kiss with fervor.

“Get a room,” Stacie teased.

During breakfast, Caleb told Chloe that he had rented a motorcycle and wanted to go riding along the Pacific Coast Highway. “The PCH is fantastic. There are these cool beaches where we can hunt for sea glass.” He explained that sea glass was small pieces of smoothed glass. “The glass comes years of trash dumping in the early to mid-1900s. Over the years, the ocean flattened and broke down the glass to what it is today.”

Stacie piped up. “Keep your eyes peeled for dark blue, red, and orange pieces. Those are the rarest. And I don’t have any in my collection. Hint, hint.”

Plenty of restaurants were up and down the highway, so Caleb didn’t pack a lunch, but he did put a few water bottles in his backpack. “You might want to bring a sweatshirt, Chloe. I don’t want you getting cold on the motorcycle.” When she told him she didn’t pack one, he told her to dig one out of his closet. “You can put it in our bag.”

When Chloe went into Caleb’s room, it dawned on her she had never been in there before. That wasn’t particularly strange, just a realization that she made. He had a desk in one corner of the room with a set up she recognized from Beca’s room in Barden as a mixing station. There also was a small electronic keyboard and a guitar on a stand. She went to his closet and starting rummaging towards the back. Caleb didn’t have many winter clothes but told her he had a few hoodies stashed towards the back of the closet.

When she came across a familiar sweatshirt, she pulled it off the hanger. Chloe realized it was an older style Barden hoodie. Thinking the article of clothing was Stacie’s, she picked it for nostalgia. She tossed it on the bed then wandered over to Caleb’s desk to look at the pictures he had pinned to a board and framed around his desk. Many of the photographs were of him and Stacie as well as his friends Alex and Peter. One of the framed pictures showed him in a hospital bed. A doctor was squatting next to him as Caleb gave a thumbs up to the camera. He had a broad grin on his face, happy as can be despite obviously being in the hospital.

A [metal figurine](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/720886130/dj-metal-figure) caught Chloe’s eye. The [metal sculpture](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/720886130/dj-metal-figure) depicted a D.J. with headphones spinning records. Chloe’s heart pounded as she realized she had bought Beca an identical metal sculpture in college. Holding it in her hand, she ran to the sweatshirt which she had thrown on the bed. She looked on the tag of the hoodie. The initials were faded, but they were unmistakable. C.B. This was **_her_** sweatshirt. And **_this_** was the figurine she had gotten Beca for her nineteenth birthday.

“Chloe,” Caleb’s voice came from the living room. “Did you find a sweatshirt?” When he didn’t get a response, Caleb walked to his room. He saw Chloe standing there, shell shocked, holding the Barden hoodie in one hand and the D.J. figurine in the other. “Chloe?” She turned to face him, her face streaked with tears, he panicked. “Babe, let me explain,” he exclaimed as he walked towards her.

Shock spread across her face as she backpedaled away from him. “No. Get away from me. **Who are you?** ” She looked down at the items she was holding, knowing the answer in her heart. She dropped the hoodie then rushed out of the room with the [metal figurine](https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/720886130/dj-metal-figure) in her hand. The last thing Caleb heard was her sobbing as the front door slammed.

Stacie came rushing in to find Caleb sitting on the floor with Chloe’s Barden hoodie wrapped around his hands as he cried into it. She sat next to her roommate and held him. “Shhhh, it’s okay, bud. Everything’s going to be okay.”

After a while, Caleb calmed down enough to tell Stacie that he’d taken Chloe’s favorite Barden sweatshirt when he’d left. “And she used to give me all these cute little trinkets. I left most of them but the D.J. figurine she gave me for my birthday. He was always my favorite, so he came with me. And she found them. Now she knows, and I didn’t tell her. She’s going to hate me forever.” He began to sob inconsolably all over again. “Why oh why didn’t I find the courage and tell her?”

* * *

Once Stacie was able to convince Caleb they would make things right, she went out in search of Chloe. The redhead didn’t have a car and would never ride public transportation. So Stacie knew Chloe couldn’t have gone far. Sure enough, Stacie found her friend sitting on the front steps of the apartment. Not sure what to say, Stacie sat next to her and was quiet.

After some time had passed and Chloe had gathered her wits as much as she could, she spoke. “You knew? All this time, you knew, and you didn’t tell me?” She was staring at the metal D.J. figurine she held in her hands.

“What did I know?” Stacie was cautious, afraid to spark her friend.

“You knew Beca was okay, alive even. And in Los Angeles. I was worried sick about her, Stacie. We all were, you knew that.” The anguish in her voice was palpable.

“Wait a minute. First of all, that’s not Beca.” She pointed up the stairs” It’s Caleb. And **_he_** didn’t get in touch with me until after I graduated. He asked that I not tell anyone else. I respected that request. He was finally figuring out who he was and needed to deal with that before dealing with his past.”

Chloe whipped her head around. “What about me, Stacie? What about what I needed? You couldn’t even let me know sh- _he_ was alive?”

“ **NO, CHLOE. I COULDN’T. HE ASKED ME NOT TO.** ” Stacie tried to calm herself, but she was livid – protective of her roommate. “You really need to be having this conversation with him.” Stacie was having a hard time keeping her temper in check.

Chloe tried to stand. “No, I **really** need to be packing my bags and getting on the next flight back to Atlanta.”

“Hey, no.” Stacie gently grabbed Chloe’s hand and guided her back to sit on the steps. “Caleb has fought so many demons, and I’m so proud of where he is today. He didn’t even want to see you when you showed up before. Ever since, he’s been genuinely torn up about how to tell you, Chloe, how you would react. He’s terrified of losing you again.”

“Beca is the one who left in the first place,” Chloe scoffed.

“ _Caleb_ loves you, Chloe. For god’s sake. He always has loved you. Please don’t shut him out. He needs you. And I have a feeling you need him, too, especially now.” With that, Stacie left her friend sitting on the stoop to think about what she wanted to do.

* * *

Chloe stayed on the front steps for quite some time. She thought about Beca and the time they’d spent together at Barden. The redhead also thought about Caleb and how she’d developed feelings for the man throughout Spring Break. She knew her emotions were heightened, but she could not deny the connection she felt with Caleb since almost day one. She sat on the stoop for quite some time before pulling herself up and returned to the apartment

When Chloe went back to his room, she found Caleb sitting on the floor. His knees were pulled to his chest and head buried in his arms. When she walked in, he looked up. Caleb had been crying fairly hard and looked spent. Chloe glanced over and saw her old Barden sweatshirt in his trashcan. She retrieved it and went to sit next to him. “You stole this.” She put it on his lap. “Since possession is nine-tenths of the law, I suppose it’s yours now.” He shoved it away. “Oh come on, Caleb. At least use it to wipe that ugly snot off your face.” She gave a nervous twitter.

He looked at her, grabbed the hoodie, and buried his face in it. “It doesn’t smell like you anymore.” Caleb’s voice was low, forlorn like he expected the shirt to still smell like Chloe after many years and multiple washings.

“I guess it wouldn’t after so long. Caleb, look at me.” Chloe was struggling to keep calm but had to see for herself. When he looked at her, Chloe focused only on his eyes. The longer she looked, the more familiar they became. Suddenly, the redhead burst into tears. Caleb was confused until she said, “my goodness. It’s you. It’s really you.” Chloe flung her arms around his neck and hung on for dear life. “How did I ever **_not_** see you in those eyes?”

The pair stayed this way for a long time, holding each other, soaking in that these weren’t new feelings of infatuation or beginning love but deep-seated longings which started many years ago at Barden. The light had long faded from the windows when Stacie came to the door and announced she’d ordered delivery. “Why don’t you two come to eat before it gets cold?”

Caleb crawled to his feet and held out his hand to Chloe. As he pulled her up, she wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I’m sorry for everything.” His voice began to waver as his emotions threatened to overtake him again.

  
“Shhhhh. It’s okay, Caleb. We have plenty of time to talk.”

* * *

And talk they did. Just as Caleb and Stacie fell back into their friendship, the reconnection between Caleb and Chloe was almost instantaneous now that she knew he was. And now that Chloe knew, she insisted on getting into his space as only Chloe could. “I can’t believe you told me you were a germaphobe.” She wrapped herself around him like a koala bear.

“What do you expect?” Caleb chuckled. He admitted that when he unexpectedly saw her in his living room, he was barely holding it together. “I think I would have fallen apart had we hugged that afternoon. When I saw first saw you, everything came rushing back to me. Chloe, I regret so much from our time together at Barden. Yes, I regret leaving as I did. But I’ll never regret _anything_ more than not telling you how I felt about you.”

Only the weekend remained in Chloe’s spring break trip. She lamented the lack of time to hear more of Caleb’s story. He shared the highlights of his journey of self-discovery and the steps he’d taken that factored into his emotional and physical transformation to the man he now knew he was and always had been.

On Chloe’s last night, the couple was again lying on the couch. “Are you sure you are okay with all this?” Caleb motioned up and down his body. “I’m not exactly the person you fell in love with all those years ago.”

Chloe began to rub her hands over Caleb’s arms and chest. “Yes, I’m okay with all of this. You _are_ exactly who I fell in love with all those years ago. And you are who I fell in love with again.” She reached up to kiss him. Her words helped ease the butterflies that seemed to be always present ever since he came out to Chloe entirely. With her hands on either side of his face, she gazed into his eyes. “Damn. I still can’t believe I didn’t see you in your eyes. I’ve always loved those deep blues. So soulful.” She pressed her lips against his as she felt him grin through the kiss.

“You always know the right words to say, Chloe Beale.” He kissed her back. Hard.

As their kiss became more heated, Caleb stopped and pulled Chloe to her feet to lead her to the bedroom. They fumbled into the room and shut the door. She slowly unbuttoned his shirt. As it fell to the floor, he pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Chloe ran her hands up and down his bare chest, lifting her arms only when Caleb pulled her blouse over her head. He reached behind her to unclasp her bra then cupped her breasts as she let the undergarment fall to the floor.

When she reached for the front of his jeans, he shook his head. “Not yet,” he murmured and pulled her into him. A collective sigh went up from them both as their fronts touched. The touch of bare skin was electrifying. Caleb laid down on his bed and gently pulled the redhead down beside him. There was a faint light coming through the window that allowed them to see each other. Chloe ran her hands over Caleb’s chest and found the tiny ropy scars where the surgeon had blended in his mastectomy incisions with his now muscular pecs.

She ducked her head and gently took one of his nipples in her mouth, gently suckling it. When he gasped, she looked up startled. “You felt that?”

He laughed and nodded his head. “They’re still my nipples. Just repositioned.” He threw his head back in enjoyment as Chloe continued her exploration of his body. He ran a hand through her hair, pulling her head closer to him. After caressing her breast with his other hand, he slid it down and cupped her bottom, squeezing. She moaned and shifted to straddle his leg.

“Move down a little, babe.” He positioned her where he felt a little more comfortable as she started to press against him. He was nervous about himself and was second-guessing his choice to stay with a soft packer knowing that he and Chloe would probably become more intimate that night.

Those concerns were all forgotten when Chloe moved up his chest and began kissing him fervently. The way she moved her body against his leg, Caleb knew that Chloe was becoming more aroused by the moment. She began to lick and suck down his neck until she got to his shoulder, where she found a particularly tender place and sunk in her teeth just enough to make Caleb gasp. “Fuck, baby.”

“Please.” Chloe whimpered. “Caleb, I want you. I need you. Please.” Her movements against his body left no amount of imagination that Chloe needed release. He growled in frustration, wanting nothing more to give that to her, wishing he had thought further about things before letting things get this advanced between them. Finally, Chloe couldn’t stand the intensity anymore decided for both of them. She put her hands firmly on his shoulders and shoved him down, wriggling out of her panties at the same time.

Without hesitation, Caleb buried his head in between her thighs as Chloe cried out in pleasure. He was revealing in her sweet aroma and taste when the redhead’s hand grabbed him by the hair and pulled him further into her crotch as she rose to meet his face. “Fuck, Caleb. Please.”

Despite having never been in this situation before, Caleb’s reactions seemed to be instinctual as he found her clit with his tongue and lapped at it as he alternatively darted his tongue in and out of her. Her reactions let him know he was on target. Before long, Chloe’s legs were clenching around his head, squeezing. Her body shuddered as she gave a cry and let herself fall back to the bed, still.

Not sure what to do, Caleb lay with his head resting on her thigh until Chloe gently began to pull him up her by his hair. He tried to wipe his face and beard off on the sheets as he moved to kiss her. He cringed as Chloe kissed him. “Babe…” he protested.

Chloe insisted everything was fine as she kissed him. “More than fine, even. Mmmm, I needed that.” She snuggled into his chest as they both caught their breath and lay in silence. Eventually, she spoke, “I guess I got carried away again. Sorry.”

“No, no,” Caleb chuckled. “That was… interesting.”

She pushed up off his chest and looked at him. “You mean, you’ve never done that before?” Caleb shook his head. “Have you ever had it done to you before?”

Caleb wrinkled up his nose. “Nope. I guess I’ve only been a straight sex kinda guy.” He pulled Chloe back down and wrapped his arm around her. “To be honest with you, I’ve only slept with one person. One time.”

“Oh my god. Did you sleep with Jesse, that Treblemaker?” Caleb pulled the sheet over his head to hide his face and groaned. “OMG,” Chloe squealed. “You did!”

“Hush. It was awful, and we shall never speak of this again.”

Chloe wanted to know what she could do for Caleb. “I want you to feel good, too, babe.”

Caleb insisted he was fine. “This isn’t an I do you, you do me situation, Chlo. I’m fine. I’m just happy to be here with you.”

Chloe grabbed Caleb’s bare arm and traced the headphone tattoo on his wrist. “I can’t believe I never saw this either.”

He nervously laughed as he admitted he had worked quite hard to keep his arms covered. “That and the grasshopper would have given me away for sure. Chloe rolled him over on his stomach and ran her hands across the pink lotus flowers on his shoulder. “Yeah, and those have to go. I haven’t decided on a cover-up yet. The equalizer bars can stay. But the little girly flowers, those have to go.”

“Caleb?” She was still tracing the tattoos on his back.

“Yeah, Chloe?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”


	7. On Being a Bella

“Well, that went better than I expected, all things considered.” Caleb returned from dropping Chloe off at the airport. She tossed the pizza boxes on the kitchen island. Stacie pulled two plates from the cabinet and held hers out for a few slices. “Thanks for your support, Stace. I could have never made it through this week without you.”

“Pshaw. You hit it out of the park.” Stacie shoved part of a slice of piping hot pizza into her mouth. “Damn, that’s hot. Dude, Chloe’s always been in love with you. A love like that doesn’t change.”

Caleb let out a huff of air. “No. Chloe fell in love with a sexy, long-haired brunette with a great set of pipes and a great body. I’m a frumpy bearded dude who has maybe another year before I start going bald.”

“Whatever. You are hot, Caleb. Muscular, sexy. And from what I hear, you gave a stellar impromptu vocal performance on Santa Monica Boulevard the other night. So no more pity parties.”

* * *

The last two months of Chloe’s school year went by in a whirlwind. Her classroom responsibilities seemed to be pure fillers in between conversations with Caleb. Each time they talked, he slowly continued to trace his journey from the person he used to be to who he was today. Surprisingly enough, Chloe was curious about everything and asked lots of questions. She wanted to know every last detail, which was refreshing for Caleb. He had thought he’d never find someone to accept him for who he was, especially not the woman who had always been the love of his life.

The more time that passed, the more Chloe realized how much she was struggling to be so far away from the person she’d always thought of as her one true soulmate so many years ago. The immediate connection she had felt with Caleb now made total sense. She needed to have more, and the more she got seemed never to be enough.

The couple talked and texted non-stop every day and had FaceTime and Zoom dates at least three times a week. Chloe had issued an open invitation for Caleb to come to Atlanta. She wanted him to see her classroom and meet her friends. Each time she brought it up, Caleb was reluctant. He finally admitted to her that he didn’t want to come because Aubrey was still her best friend. He was afraid that not only would Aubrey hate who he had become but worse, not forgive him for leaving Chloe and the Bellas all those years ago.

“She’ll never know, Caleb. Hell, I didn’t even figure it out, and I’m me.” Chloe batted her soft blue eyes, hoping she could convince her boyfriend he should come for a visit.

Caleb shook his head at the camera on the iPad he had propped up on his bed. “Chloe, that’s just it. Honestly, I’m tired of hiding who I am and what I am. I need to buck up and face the proverbial music. Aubrey. The Bellas. Everyone. Damn it; they deserve an explanation. And I don’t feel right keeping things from them. I love you, Chloe. I am ready to be a part of your life, all of it.” He was nervous as hell, but Caleb finally decided the time had come.

Aubrey had been clamoring for details about Chloe’s new love. She’d seen the recent changes in her best friend and pictures of Chloe and Caleb. Aubrey also knew he was Stacie’s roommate. Everything else, Chloe had been tight-lipped about claiming that she wanted to stay in their little bubble as long as possible. Chloe didn’t feel she was lying to her best friend, especially since she knew of the potential storm which could occur when the truth came out.

Stacie and Caleb decided to fly to Atlanta for a long weekend. Chloe’s apartment was small, so Stacie was going to stay with Aubrey at her cabin. They were going to have a small dinner party with only the four of them on Friday. Then on Saturday, Aubrey was throwing a mini-Bella reunion for all the girls who could make it. Caleb was going to test the waters with Aubrey. If that didn’t go over smoothly, he’d beg off the Bellas reunion by being sick or something.

* * *

“Promise you’ll be nice to him, Aubrey.” Chloe was helping Aubrey with the final preparations for her dinner party. Her meticulous friend had to have things exactly right.

Aubrey rolled her eyes. “I know how much you like him. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.” The blonde walked around the table, making sure the silverware was lined up perfectly in the center of the cloth napkin. “Are you sure he eats salmon?”

“Yes, I’m positive. Caleb loves fish. Don’t worry; dinner will be perfect.” Chloe loved Aubrey but was still nervous. “As long as you are nice. Ooh, I think I hear a car.” Chloe ran to the door of the cabin and saw Stacie’s rental pull into the parking area. She ran to the passenger side and flung open the door. “Caleb!” She squealed as she tugged his arm to get him out of the car more quickly. “I’ve missed you.”

After a brief kiss, Caleb pushed back and looked Chloe up and down. “You are such a sight for sore eyes. I believe you get prettier every time I see you.”

Chloe giggled as she swatted his chest. “I bet you say that to all your women.”

Stacie made a gagging noise as she got her bag out of the trunk and went inside to greet Aubrey. The friends hadn’t seen each other since Stacie moved to Los Angeles, so they were happy to see each other.

Aubrey peeked around Stacie through the open door and saw the couple standing together. “Wow, I guess this amazing man Chloe’s been going on and on about really does exist.” Chloe led a nervous Caleb inside with her arm hooked in his elbow. “Welcome to my home.” Aubrey gave him what she hoped was a warm smile.

“Aubrey, this is Caleb. Caleb, meet Aubrey – my best Bella friend from college.” Caleb held up a shy hand for a wave.

“Is he always this quiet?” Aubrey whispered to Stacie.

“He’s nervous around strangers,” Stacie whispered back. “Give him some time to warm up.”

Aubrey looked him up and down, judging her first impressions of the man before deciding she needed to slip from best friend mode back into hostess mode. “What can I get everyone to drink?”

Stacie and Caleb both took beers while Aubrey opened a bottle of Chardonnay for Chloe and herself. As they raised their drinks, Aubrey gave a toast, “To friends – both old and new.” Aubrey studied Caleb the entire time everyone was visiting before having Stacie and Caleb sit at the table while she and Chloe made the final preparations for dinner.

“So,” Chloe whispered. “What do you think?”

Aubrey shook her head. “He’s quiet for sure. But he seems, I don’t know, familiar in some way. Are you sure I haven’t met him before?” Chloe brushed off her friend’s question by assuring that Aubrey didn’t know _Caleb_. Once dinner was served, the talking stopped for the most part as the foursome enjoyed their food in quiet.

“This salmon is cooked perfectly, Aubrey.” The blonde had meticulously pan-seared the fish and served it over a bed of lime cilantro rice with a side of citrus-ginger roasted beets and carrots. Judging by Caleb’s almost cleared plate, he enjoyed everything.

“I’m delighted the food was to your liking.” Aubrey was proud of her cooking and relieved that Chloe’s boyfriend appreciated the dinner.

Stacie insisted she and Caleb clear the dishes and made the other two Bellas go to the living room to work on their bottle of wine. “Are you okay, bud?”

“Yeah,” Caleb squeaked out. “Aubrey’s been staring at me. I think she knows something is up.” They each got another beer and joined Aubrey and Chloe.

“Caleb, Chole tells me you are in the music industry.”

“Yeah,” he said shyly. “I produce music.”

“That’s interesting. We had a friend in college who wanted to do that. She was extremely talented.”

He was not expecting to hear Aubrey complement Beca, however small. Hearing this caused Caleb’s heart to pound even harder. He had a plan for the night and decided to keep moving forward. He unbuttoned his shirt sleeves and rolled them three-quarters of the way up his arms before reaching over to hold Choe’s hand – his headphones tattoo on his wrist in full view.

Meanwhile, Aubrey was chattering with Chloe about something or the other. When she glanced down and saw Caleb’s tattoo, she froze. He moved the other arm off his girlfriend’s shoulder and held his arm out in a distinct manner so Aubrey couldn’t miss what he was trying to display. Aubrey pulled her eyes from his wrist, back to his face. She squinted as she stared into his eyes, then dropped her wine glass, spilling the pale liquid on the floor. With one last look at Caleb’s wrist, she rushed from the room without looking back.

Caleb stood to go after her. Chloe put her hand on his arm. “No, let me.” She then went off after the blonde.

He looked at Stacie with an undiscernible look on his face. “I knew this was a bad idea, Stace. She fucking hates me. She always has. And now, it’s going to be worse.”

“Woah, dude. Stop it. Not everything is going to be sunshine and unicorns here. You know Aubrey is a different bird. But she’s Chloe’s best friend, and that makes her important. Let’s let Chloe try to talk to her.”

Caleb ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck. If I can’t get through one night with Aubrey, why on Earth should I expect to make it tomorrow when all the Bellas are here. Who is all coming again?”

“It’s not going to be as bad as you think. I think we got RSVPs from Ashley, Jessica, and Fat Amy, of course. C.R. is a maybe. Oh, and Legacy.”

“Legacy? Who’s that?”

“Her name is Emily. She joined after you left. Took your spot the next year, I think. She’s probably a senior by now.” When she saw the look that Caleb gave her, Stacie rolled her eyes. “Geesh, we couldn’t have a reunion without Legacy, especially since she’s still at Barden. She’s cool; you’ll like her.”

* * *

Chloe found Aubrey, arms crossed, pacing the bedroom floor with a scowl etched on her face. “Aubrey?” Chloe approached her friend, cautiously, not sure what to expect. The blonde stopped pacing but remained standing with her back to Chloe. “Aubrey, are you okay?”

“Please tell me that’s not Beca Mitchell in my living room. Please tell me that I didn’t fret and worry about over planning the perfect dinner party for Beca fucking Mitchell.” She turned around, her eyes shooting daggers at Chloe, who was fighting back the tears.

The redhead straightened her back and answered. “The person in your living room is Caleb. Caleb Mitchell, my boyfriend.” Aubrey didn’t speak. “You promised you’d be nice to him, Bree.” Chloe wasn’t quite sure what to say. She hadn’t quite gotten to this point in her own planning for what to do in case Aubrey reacted poorly. Chloe had assumed that Aubrey would accept Caleb as quickly as she had herself. Then again, she forgot that the two hadn’t exactly been on good terms when they went to school together and that Aubrey might also hold some resentment for Chloe’s abandonment, no matter the reason.

“I want her out of my house.” Aubrey rolled her eyes. “Him out of my house. Whoever. Whatever. Get him out. Now.” She shouted, not caring that her voice easily carried to the living room.

Chloe could tell no progress would be made with Aubrey as long as Caleb was at the cabin. She went back to the living room and asked Stacie if she wouldn’t mind staying at her place with Caleb so she could talk some sense into Aubrey.

“No, Chloe. You can talk to Aubrey after the weekend. You and Caleb haven’t seen each other in ages. Take him home tonight, and let me talk to Aubrey.” Stacie was on her feet and walking towards Chloe to hug her. She was used to standing up for Caleb, and Aubrey Posen had nothing on her. “I’ll see you both in the morning. Breakfast at the café, right?”

* * *

“I wonder what Stacie’s going to say to her.” Caleb’s nerves were dancing on end as his worse fears were coming true as they drove to Chloe’s apartment. “I should have known this was going to happen.”

Chloe squeezed her boyfriend’s hand. “If Aubrey has an issue with this, then it’s her problem. I’m glad you are here, and that’s what’s important.” She pulled into a small apartment complex. “This is me,” she chirped. “It may be small, but it’s mine.”

Caleb grabbed his bag from the back seat, and they made their way up the stairs to Chloe’s place. The moment the door opened, the essence of Chloe oozed out. Caleb was in awe from the moment he stepped in. Even without his girlfriend holding his hand, he would have immediately known this apartment belonged to her.

A soft peppermint smell permeated the air, and shades of soft yellow, pale green, and pastel pink were all around the front room. The colors should have never gone together, but somehow Chloe made them work. “You might see some familiar things around. Don’t flip out.” Chloe busied herself in the kitchen, boiling some water for some tea. “Make yourself at home.”

Caleb began to stroll around, stopping first at a bookshelf stuffed full of various hardcover books and paperbacks. One shelf held nothing but framed pictures. One was of all the Bellas in those silly flight attendant costumes with the yellow scarves around their necks. “Such happy times these were,” Caleb mumbled. She then picked the picture from the mud pit at the Lodge of Fallen Leaves. “Hey, I used to have a picture just like that.”

“It is your picture.” Chloe came around with some tea and handed Caleb a mug. “That’s always been my favorite. You stole my hoodie; I stole your pictures. Sounds fair, right?” She laughed as she went over to the couch with Caleb following close behind. “I kept a lot of your things after I figured out you weren’t coming back. Not your clothes and stuff. But I have all your pictures boxed up along with the trinkets that you said you disliked so much. We can go through them later if you want.”

“I think I’d like that.” Caleb gave her a soft smile. “Thanks.”

“For?”

“Thanks for being perfect.”

* * *

Stacie gave Aubrey some time to calm down, knowing that eventually, her curious nature would get the best of her. Sure enough, about half an hour after Chloe and Caleb left, Aubrey emerged from her bedroom. “Is **she** gone?” Stacie rolled her eyes.

“Caleb is a **man** , Aubrey. And yes, **he** is gone. Are you satisfied?” She huffed to show her dissatisfaction with her long term friend. “Are you seriously that closed-minded?”

“Are you telling me you are okay with this, Stacie? With **_Caleb_** _,_ ” Aubrey spit out the name.

“Aubrey Posen. I never imagined you to be a bigot.” Stacie was having a hard time holding her temper in check.

The blonde gasped as she stuttered out a response. “I – I – I am NOT a bigot. I am just confused.” She focused on a spot in the corner of the room. “Do you really think I’m a bigot, Stacie?”

“You sure are acting like one. Let’s talk about this, Aubrey. We probably need to sort this out before tomorrow when we have half a dozen Bellas over for a reunion where they are going to meet Chloe’s new boyfriend. Correction, we don’t need to sort this out, **_you_** need to sort this out.”

The realization hit Aubrey hard. “Are you guys planning on telling them who he is?”

Stacie nodded her head. “Sure are going to tell them. He’s spent a great deal of time preparing the perfect reveal. But because you are Chloe’s best friend, he wanted to tell you first. Too bad that blew up in his face.”

“Geesh, I seriously screwed up, then. Damn it. No wonder Chloe has been so nervous for me to meet Caleb.” Aubrey reached for her phone. “I need to call her.”

Stacie plucked the phone from her friend’s hand. “No, you don’t need to call her. She hasn’t seen Caleb in a few months, and I sent them home to be alone. **_You_** need to think about how you feel about the situation and process everything before we go to breakfast tomorrow.”

“I do need some time to process this, Stacie.”

Stacie glanced at her watch. “Well, you have about nine hours before we meet Chloe and Caleb for breakfast tomorrow. Then there’s the party. So take all the time you need, Aubrey. But I suggest you process quickly.”

Stacie and Aubrey spent the rest of the evening with Stacie providing some general information to Aubrey. Most of her questions were innocent enough. Stacie refused to answer any questions about Caleb’s disappearance and focused only on the highlights of his transition process.

* * *

“I owe you an apology, Caleb.” Aubrey held out her hand across the table. “Your revelation caught me off guard, but that’s no excuse for my poor behavior.” Caleb shrugged as he accepted her hand. He hadn’t expected an apology from Aubrey but was grateful she seemed to be making an effort.

“It’s all good, Aubrey. But I respect your opinion. If you don’t want me at the Bellas reunion tonight, I won’t be there. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“No, no, no, I insist. The girls are looking forward to meeting you.” Aubrey paused. “And Stacie tells me you guys are planning some type of reveal.”

Caleb looked at Stacie and Chloe before grinning. “Something like that. We’ve put together a montage of clips of the Bellas over the years, followed by this cool video clip someone at the Transgender Center made of my pictures as I went through my transition. I mean tonight’s a celebration of you guys and a coming-out party for me.” He paused a moment. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah!” Aubrey was quick to answer. Aubrey knew how royally she’d screwed up the night before and wanted desperately to make up for it. “You are a Bella, too. Tonight should be a celebration for all of us. I just hope you know what you are getting into.”

Caleb reached over and grabbed Chloe’s hand. “I know that I love this woman, and she deserves to be able to share our love with all her friends and family.”

* * *

Later as the women were putting final touches for the party on Aubrey’s cabin, Caleb cornered Aubrey in her room. “Hey, Aubrey. Can we talk?”  
  


“Sure.”

“I wanted to apologize to you. For everything.” The blonde looked at him, questioningly. “And to thank you. For always being there for Chloe, especially when I wasn’t. You have no reason to accept me. But I see the effort you are making. So thank you.”

Aubrey narrowed her eyes, choosing her words carefully before she responded. “You know I would do anything for Chloe. You make her happy. Just know that I still have my eye on you, hobbit.” She gave Caleb a soft smile to show she was teasing before getting back to preparations.

* * *

“What’s up, **PITCHES**?” Fat Amy was the first to arrive with tons of alcohol in tow.

“We aren’t in college anymore, Amy,” Aubrey chided but accepted the booze anyway.

The Australian looked around and exclaimed, “where’s the party? I want to meet this hunk of a man we’ve all been hearing about. Where is Chloe hiding him?” Caleb had decided not to mingle with the Bellas until right before the video montage started, which would be after everyone arrived. He was excited to see everyone but didn’t want to risk discovery until he was ready.

Jessica and Ashley arrived and gave Aubrey several trays of stuffed mushroom caps. “These are the best, ladies. Thanks. Chloe, Stacie, and Fat Amy are around here somewhere. Make yourselves at home.” Shortly after that, Legacy showed up with some of her mom’s cookies, and even C.R. was able to make it. Everyone was mingling around, plucking snacks from the various tables. Fat Amy had made a batch of her dangerous alcohol concoction that nobody knew the contents of even after so many years.

Aubrey clanged on her wine glass with a fork to get everyone’s attention. “Gather around everyone. Make sure you have a drink.” Amy was trying to pawn off red solo cups to anyone with an open hand, but people had wisened up and kept a tight grip on their wine glasses and beer bottles.

Caleb came out to stand next to Chloe. Fat Amy saw him first and immediately gave a wolf whistle. “Well, hello there, sexy man.”

Emily looked confused, leaned over, and whispered to Jessica. “I thought this was a Bellas reunion. No plus ones.” Jessica shrugged.

“Tonight, we are here to celebrate the Barden Bellas,” Chloe announced. “Both old and new. From our past to our present. Caleb, my boyfriend, has put together a video celebration to honor our reunion.” Caleb pressed play on the DVR remote.

Pictures and short video clips began to stream across the screen. Nobody noticed that many of these included Beca. The girls oohed and awwed as memories floated across the screen. Chloe had a rather large collection of pictures of all the Bellas and the time they spent together. He tensed up when he knew what was coming next. Chloe squeezed his hand in support, and Stacie put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Next came images that focused more on Beca. Beca with Chloe and then just of Beca. The girls’ mouths were hanging open at this unexpected turn of events. Curious and confused whispers spread among the Bellas. Then the video paused.

The next picture that came up was a picture of Caleb after he’d cut off his hair, followed by the photographs Caleb had sent Stacie the day he started testosterone. With this, the time-lapsed video of his transition with testosterone started showing his face getting slimmer and his facial and body hair filling in. Then came the picture of Caleb in the hospital with his doctor. He lay proudly showing off his bandages after his mastectomy. The photos showed his beard filling out, his muscles bulking up, and ended with a picture of Caleb exactly as he looked today.

As the montage turned off, the room was silent as everyone seemed shocked as they stared at Caleb. Suddenly, Fat Amy broke the silence as she screamed out, “ **SHAWSHANK!”** and launched herself at Caleb. With that, everyone started talking. Questions were flying everywhere. Amy was spinning Caleb around in circles, and everyone was still only half convinced of what they saw.

Aubrey pulled out the familiar whistle she had used with them many times during their retreat. “Ladies. Ladies! Calm down. Amy put him down.”

The Australian looked over her shoulder. “But it’s Shawshank. Short Stack. Little Bit.” When Aubrey glared at her, she reluctantly set Caleb down. “I’ll be back for you later,” she whispered.

Chloe spoke up. “I know you all have questions. And I’m sure we can get to lots of them, but I think Caleb has some things he wants to say to the group first.”

When he realized nobody was looking at him in disgust, Caleb’s confidence rose a bit. “Hey, guys. I suppose you have figured out by now. It’s me.” He motioned to the TV screen that displayed a picture of the Bellas after they had won their first ICCA finals. “Yeah, **that** used to be me.” He motioned to his body. “And now, **this** is me.”

Emily timidly raised her hand. “So, you used to be a Bella?” Caleb and Chloe both nodded. “And now you are Chloe’s boyfriend?” Chloe tugged on his hand and nodded. “My aunt is trans. Cool.” Legacy’s innocence burst open the dam of questions.

After the curiosities started to die down, Aubrey encouraged everyone to keep eating hor d'oeuvres while she switched out empty appetizer trays with dinner foods. Eventually, everyone had a large plate piled high with food. Most of the girls ventured outside to the firepit. They sat on one of the logs or in a lawn chair eating and visiting.

Many of the Bellas had lots of questions for Caleb. Some were about his journey while others were where the hell he disappeared to so long ago. For the most part, everyone had the name and gender pronouns nailed. Fat Amy seemed to mess up a lot, but Stacie was convinced Fat Amy was doing some of it on purpose. Once she tired of having her faux pas ignored, Fat Amy eventually gave up her attention-getting mechanisms and began to call Caleb by his name and correct gender.

Caleb explained how he called Stacie after their graduation and swore her to secrecy out of necessity. Then Chloe showing up on their doorstep was pure luck. “But telling you gals, this is something I wanted to do. Leaving was hard. And I missed the hell out of you every day. I’m tired of not having you in my life.” He made a show of squeezing Chloe’s hand. “And if I want this woman in my life, I know it’s a package deal.”

[Presenting Caleb](https://wordsofmyreality.tumblr.com/post/622045838334705664/a-huge-thanks-to-amidoesstuff-for-her-depiction)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thanks to amidoesstuff on Tumblr for her depiction of Caleb.


	8. New Job, Grad School, and Beyond

Chloe’s summer vacation started not too long after the Bella reunion. She was finding that being away from Caleb excruciatingly hard. So once her end of school in-service days finished, Chloe packed her bags for an extended summer stay in Los Angeles.

As a school teacher, having summers off was an advantage for Chloe. She enjoyed hanging out at Caleb and Stacie’s apartment, running their errands, and cleaning house for the roommates. If she got everything done for the day, Chloe spent time wandering around different parts of the city, particularly relaxing at the various area beaches. Stacie certainly didn’t mind having her there since it meant having home-cooked meals almost every night.

One Saturday, Caleb woke up to a bulky, rectangular box sitting on the table. Caleb walked around the table, examining the package. The wrapping paper was pale blue with booties, baby strollers, and onesies proclaiming ‘It’s a Boy”. He picked the box up, hefting the weight in his hands. “Is this your way of telling me something, Chlo?” He was laughing through his apparent confusion.

Chloe sat his coffee mug in front of him. “I got you a present,” she chirped. “Oh, and Stacie helped. And your dad, kinda.”

“Whoa! My dad?” Now Caleb was perplexed. When he had come out to his dad as transgender, Dr. Mitchell had asked for some time to get used to things. Her father wasn’t _not_ supportive of the process, just unsure of how he felt. Caleb didn’t talk to him much but did send periodic updates to his step-mother, Sheila.

“Stacie and I talked to Sheila, and she found a few boxes that your dad had stored in their basement. Go ahead, open it.” The redhead was quivering with excitement. Stacie was leaning against the kitchen island, grinning.

Caleb carefully pulled the paper from the box then took the lid off of the box inside. When he pulled out the tufts of blue tissue paper, he revealed a beautiful linen bound book. The gray cloth was monogrammed with blue thread with his name, “Caleb” and tied with a blue ribbon. He gently removed the book from the box and opened the cover.

On the center of the front page was affixed a photo of his birth announcement. Yet, rather than being the pink colors that he remembered, the birth announcement was blue. It touted his chosen name along with his birth statistics – time, weight, length. Caleb excitedly began to look through the pages of pictures from his original baby book that included his mom in various stages of pregnancy and his parents on their way to the hospital after his mom had gone into labor. Despite knowing that Chloe’s heart was always in the right place, he feared to look at the next pictures in the book.

And then he saw it, the first picture of himself after being born. The photograph was digitally corrected. The beanie and swaddling wrap that the hospital used on the newborn was no longer pink but blue. Tears began to flood his eyes as he looked at the pictures. These were ones he remembered from his old baby book, but the colors in all the photos were all modified to more traditional baby boy colors. Even the silly elastic bows around his head had were now little bowties.

Caleb was fighting back the tears. “I don’t understand.” He looked at Chloe to find her crying as well.

“Sheila found the boxes of your baby pictures and your old baby book. Stacie knows people who are pretty good with digital corrections on pictures and had them touch up the pics to the right color. Then I put together your baby book.”

“I-I-I don’t know what to say.” He remembered his old baby book well. What couldn’t be color corrected, Chloe had recreated for a boy baby.

“Do you like it?” Chloe was nervous that she had overstepped her bounds. Caleb nodded his head, emphatically. “Well, I feel everyone needs a baby book, and now you have one that represents your true self.”

* * *

Chloe never stopped being full of surprises. One evening at dinner, Chloe slid a flyer across the table to Caleb. “What’s this?” He picked it up as he continued to eat. “Fairfax High School. Mmmm.”

“Well, I went to a Los Angeles Unified School District job fair today. Fairfax has a continuation school that supports LGBTQ students who have dropped out or are thinking of dropping out of high school.”

“Ooookay. That’s cool.” Caleb kept eating, not catching the significance of what Chloe was saying.

“I was thinking of applying to work there.” She studied his face carefully, watching for a reaction.

Suddenly a grin spread across Caleb’s face. “No shit, Chlo? That’s a long commute,” he teased.

She shoved his shoulder. “Fucker. Atlanta is too far away. I want to be with you, Caleb. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Chlo.” He waved his fork in the air, trying not to get too excited about having his girlfriend in the same city. “Sure. But if you want to live here, you are the one who has to kick Stacie out.”

* * *

Chloe decided to not only apply for a position at Fairfax High School but also to submit a late application to Cal State LA for graduate school, a counseling degree with a focus on LGBTQ issues. Things moved surprisingly quickly. Her stellar teaching experience landed her the job without a problem. And despite the late application, she was admitted to the CSLA counseling program.

With the expense of Chloe moving cross-country and getting enrolled in school, Stacie had no problem with the three of them sharing the apartment until Chloe was a bit more stable. The time gave Stacie time to examine her finances as well.

With Chloe firmly ensconced in his life, Caleb was finally completely happy. Before, he had continued taking steps in his transition because he did not feel like a whole man. But now, he was one hundred percent pleased with who he was and where he was in life. Chloe supported all his decisions and never questioned anything about his transition.

The couple managed to work through their bedroom situation, finding ways to please sexually each other without triggering Caleb’s dysphoria. After lengthy discussions and considerations, Caleb decided his transition was complete. He did not feel the need to go through bottom surgery or additional enhancements to his genitalia.

The redhead was working like crazy to keep up with her teaching job and taking a full load of graduate classes so she could have her Masters and certification in two years. She often struggled, but with Caleb by her side, she never wavered or complained. As she supported him, he did likewise for the redhead to help her meet her goals.

Chloe’s program required a two-month internship before certification and graduation. The timing happened to coincide with the summer break of her second year of teaching at Fairfax High School. When Caleb’s psychologist found out about Chloe, he encouraged her to apply at the youth community center attached to the transgender facility that supported Caleb through his transition. The youth center provided services to GLBTQ teens through age twenty that gave Chloe access to the experiences for which she’d pursued her graduate degree.

Through the youth center, Chloe realized the problems these teens faced were far more profound than sexuality and gender. Many families had disowned the teens and kicked them out of their homes. Some teens were even physically abused by family or strangers and left for dead on the streets. Just for who they were. Her heart was shredded on a daily as she worked with the teens to locate resources to help them find their way.

* * *

When she completed her internship at the end of the summer, thus completing her degree and certification, Fairfax High School offered Chloe a position as a school counselor. After long contemplation, she turned down the job and took one with another LGBTQ youth center that was starting up close to where she and Caleb lived. While the students at the high school did need her, she felt they already had somewhat of a safe place. She could make more of a difference working with teens who did not yet have such a safe place.

“Have I told you how proud I am of you, Chloe.” Caleb looked at the redhead in awe. “You have the biggest heart of anyone person I have ever met. You are truly changing the world, one teenager at a time.” He knew now that Chloe’s graduate school was over and she’d taken a new position, Chloe would be a lot less stressed and have more time for their relationship – to start doing the things they loved together. Before, he’d always felt bad asking her to do something like a date, knowing how exhausted she must be.

“Hey, remember when you came to LA to spend Spring Break? We went to the Santa Monica Pier?”

Chloe flashed a brilliant smile. “Of course, I remember. You bought me a snow globe and sang alongside that busker on the boulevard.”

“How about you let me take you back there tomorrow? On a date. We can ride rides, eat bad carnival food, or I’ll even spring for a fancy restaurant if you wish for your graduation. You’ve been working so hard and deserve to have a good time.”

“Yes!” Chloe was clapping her hands as she squealed. “I need a relaxing day after the past two years of stress.”

Because Chloe agreed to go, Caleb doubled up on his plans. Stacie had found a new place to live a while back, so they had the apartment to themselves. Chloe had finally gotten her things out of storage and unpacked. She was able to find some perfect clothes for an afternoon at the pier and an evening on the boulevard.

* * *

As soon as they arrived, Chloe pulled them to the Sea Head, a wooden dragon that moved back and forth in a full half-circle arc. She knew which rides Caleb would balk at and wanted to hit those first while he was compliant. “That made me feel like a dragon was tossing me around on a stormy sea,” he laughed as they stumbled to the next ride. They rode the roller coaster, the Shark Frenzy, and even many of the kiddie rides. They also stuffed their faces with candy apples, funnel cakes, and frozen lemonade.

As the sun was getting ready to set, Caleb pulled his girlfriend towards the Pacific Wheel. As the operator buckled them in and closed the door, Caleb announced, “did you know this is the world’s only solar-powered Ferris wheel?” He grinned over at the redhead as the wheel began to move with intermittent stops to pick up passengers. He knew the Ferris wheel would make several full revolutions, giving them a full panoramic view of the Southern California coastline. The couple was quiet as they enjoyed the view.

Soon the ride began to make its stops again to exchange passengers. As their bucket neared the peak, Caleb knew it was now or never. He dug a small jewelry box out of his pocket and turned to the redhead who was busy enjoying the sparkling lights. “Chloe Beale?” She turned expectantly but clueless as to what he was about to do. “Chloe, I have loved you since the day I first laid eyes on you at the Activities Fair at Barden. You are my best friend. While we lost each other once, the universe brought us back together. I never want to be separated again.”

When Chloe looked down and saw the box Caleb was holding, she realized what was happening. He unbuckled his belt so he could crouch on one knee in the bucket. He opened the box to display the most beautiful engagement ring. “Chloe Beale, will you…” About that time, the wheel lurched again to another position, and the box went flying out of his hands. It was all he could to but to watch as it fell to the ground some eighty-five feet below where they sat. “ ** _Oh my god_** ,” he shouted.

Meanwhile, Chloe hadn’t seen what had happened. She was busy tearing up at what Caleb had said. “Yes. Yes, Caleb. Of course, I’ll marry you.” She grabbed him the best she could and pulled him to her.

“No, you don’t understand,” Caleb was panicking. He pointed down. “That was your engagement ring. I just dropped your engagement ring.”

Chloe looked down like she was going to be able to see a small black box from that distance away. “You didn’t just ask me to marry you?”

“No. YES. Wait, no. Chloe,” he whined. “I dropped your ring.” His panic now was full-blown.

Suddenly Chloe started laughing, cackling even. “Caleb Mitchell! You mean to tell me that you planned out this entire day. Rode all these rides for me. Took me up on the world’s only solar-powered Ferris wheel to propose to me and DROPPED MY RING?”

It was all Caleb could do to nod his head and try to keep from crying as they waited to make it to the bottom. Chloe giggled and snorted all the way down while Caleb crossed his arms and pressed himself against the other side of the bucket and pouted. When they reached the bottom, he frantically explained to the ride operator what had happened.

The operator chuckled and assured Caleb that happened more than one would expect. He found a high powered flashlight, and they found the box in short order. Of course, the box was empty. But practice makes perfect, and the operator and his pal made quick work of finding the engagement ring, too. Caleb excitedly dug two hundred dollar bills from his wallet, one for each of them before rushing off with the dirty, sandy box and ring.

Chloe was patiently waiting for him on a bench a few yards away. He slumped down next to her. “I don’t think I have the energy to go through all of that again.” Chloe stared at him until he perked up. He used his shirt to shine up the ring, put it in the box, and wiped off the box on his jeans before kneeling. “Chloe Beale, will you do the honor of being my wife?”

* * *

**Epilogue**

Caleb nervously paced back and forth in the waiting room. Something was going on in the delivery room, and he didn’t know what. He had been in there when baby number one had been born. Suddenly alarms began to sound, and machines started beeping, alerting the doctors to danger. Chloe was in trouble, and at least one of the babies was in distress.

A nurse quickly draped Chloe and swabbed her abdomen with betadine while another pushed a tray of sterile set of instruments. “Scalpel,” the doctor’s words were firm as he began to work to free baby number two from Chloe’s womb.

“Chloe!” Caleb was shouting and pushing against the nurses trying to restrain him. He was frantic, trying to get to his wife and possibly putting the situation in jeopardy.

“Sir, you need to calm down. We need to get the second baby out. Let the doctors work.”

When Caleb continued to blindly push towards the doctor cutting his wife’s abdomen open, the nurses had to escort him out for safety reasons. He grabbed one last look at his firstborn child as he called out for Chloe, who was being worked on by the medical team. Stacie was with him and tried to make sure Caleb didn’t attempt to get back in the delivery room. While she wanted to comfort him, he was inconsolable. The lives of three of Caleb’s most precious people were in that room, two of which were hanging in the balance. He wrung his hands together as his mind drifted back to a little over a year ago.

* * *

_Chloe was sitting on the balcony, her legs propped up on the railing. “Do you remember talking about wanting kids? At Barden?” Her question was simple, not challenging, almost like she was recalling a memory from the time they had spent together in the Bella house._

_“Yup.” Caleb grinned. “You said you always had wanted two, a girl and a boy.”_

_Chloe looked at her husband and lifted her sunglasses. “You_ were _listening. I always thought you were ignoring me.”_

_He chuckled. “Never. I also remember you saying how you’d love to have babies with me. My musical talents and your voice would make for some super awesome kids.” His wife smiled at the thought._

_“What do you think now, Caleb? Do you still want kids?”_

_Knowing where this conversation was headed, Caleb contemplated his answer before answering. “At one point, I thought I might. I mean, I haven’t ruled it out; that’s for sure.”_

_Chloe dropped her sunglasses back on her nose and turned back to stare over the balcony. “What if I wanted a baby? Our baby.” For the first time, her voice sounded tentative, hopeful. “Do you think you could handle two redheads around the house?”_

_Caleb chuckled. “What makes you assume our baby would have red hair?”_

_Chloe explained that while redhead genes were recessive, if they used a redhead sperm donor, there was a one in four chance of having a redheaded baby. “And with the number of redheads in my family, I’d say my chances are larger than one in four.”_

_Caleb nodded. “Well, brown hair is dominant. Any baby coming from me would certainly have brown hair.” He quietly let that news sink in. “But with a blue-eyed donor, both our babies would have blue eyes for sure.”_

_Finally, Chloe spoke. “What are you saying, Caleb? You can’t carry a baby unless you come off T. And then, chances would be slim since all those parts are probably dried up by now.”_

_“I am **NOT** coming off of T, Chlo.” He paused again. “Regardless of hair color, I know your baby would have a great voice. But wouldn’t you want to have my mad musical talents in a kiddo?”_

_Chloe set up and put her feet flat on the ground. “Caleb Mitchell. Quit speaking in riddles. Tell me what you are talking about.”_

_“You do our finances. Have you not ever wondered what that yearly $1,000 bill is to the California Cryobank is for?” The redhead stood up, tears starting to form. “Hey, hey, no crying.”_

_“Caleb, do you have embryos stored?”_

_He shook his head. “I don’t have embryos stored, but I did have eggs retrieved before I started on testosterone. The eggs probably have about five years of viability left. And that treatment was a bitch. I’d like to think I didn’t go through those fertility treatments for nothing. So yes, I have eggs frozen.”_

_Chloe jumped up and squealed as she hugged her husband. “Caleb, I super really want to have a baby with you. Babies even.”_

_After a great deal of discussion and contemplation between husband and wife, they visited Caleb’s fertility clinic where his eggs were extracted. The facility suggested they expose to Chloe to the same treatment Caleb had gone through to retrieve her eggs. Eggs from both spouses would be fertilized and implanted into Chloe’s uterus._

_After two rounds of IVF treatment, the couple was pleased to discover Chloe was pregnant. With twins. A boy and a girl._

* * *

Caleb couldn’t lose them now. He couldn’t lose either his son or his daughter, and he certainly couldn’t lose his wife. His nerves were on end as his mind spun aimlessly in all directions as he and Stacie waited on news from the delivery room. He thought of the day Chloe first told him she loved him. He recalled when he proposed to Chloe and dropped the stupid engagement ring off the Ferris wheel.

He remembered dancing with her at their wedding, surrounded by all their friends and family. The nursery at their apartment was stuffed full of clothes, toys, and gifts from family, friends, and especially their Bella sisters. No, he could not lose any of them.

The delivery room door swung open, and the maternity nurse stepped out. “Mr. Mitchell. Would you like to see your son and daughter?”

“Yes, yes, gawd yes,” he responded as he approached the door. He then paused before asking, “and my wife? Is Chloe okay?”

The smile on the nurse’s face reached her eyes immediately despite the mask that covered her nose and mouth. “Yes, Mr. Mitchell. Mom is okay. They are all okay.”

Caleb rushed into the room to see two babies tightly swaddled, one on either side of Chloe, who was sweaty and looked utterly worn out. “Hi, sweetie.” Caleb gently bent down and kissed his wife’s head, careful to avoid her stitched up abdomen.

“Look,” she murmured. “Look at our babies. We made pretty babies.” Chloe was exhausted from the trauma of giving one vaginal birth and an emergency cesarean section.

Caleb smiled down in awe at his son and daughter. They were already cleaned up, calmed from the trauma of being brought into the world. He looked at a nurse who motioned towards the baby swaddled in blue, the closest to Caleb. “I’m afraid to touch him.”

The nurse chuckled. “You won’t hurt him; pick him up.”

Caleb picked him up and held him tightly for fear of dropping the small bundle. “Hi, baby. It’s me, your daddy. I’ve been singing to you every night. Do you recognize my voice? Mommy and I are so glad you’re finally here.”

The nurse laughed. “They were ready to get here, too. They were both born with full heads of hair. It may fall out, but as of right now, they have lots of it.” Caleb looked up. “Boy Mitchell there has a shock of red hair like his mama’s. Girl Mitchell, hers is brown, like her daddy’s.”

With that, Caleb sat down in the rocking chair with his son. The nurse brought his daughter to him to hold. “I can already tell; you are going to be a daddy’s girl,” he whispered as the nurse placed the second baby into his arms.

Then he rocked his babies. And sang. And Chloe rested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As GLBTQ Pride Month comes to a close, I'm posting the last of this tribute to the transgender community. I'd like to thank each of you who have read this fic and a double thanks for those of you who have provided me feedback and encouragement with your comments. Your support has been phenomenal.


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